Time....

Start of final year:
still plenty of time...relax ....

Early of the year:
Ortho...so interesting...read slow2

Middle of the year:
O and G i hate the most...depressing times....
Peads is so busy...shortness of breath...

Near end of final year:
Oh My God...what am i doing.....second last posting liao...zzz....but i feel sleepy most of the time...no.....

Time is slipping away when one tried to make full use of it....I am hopeless....sigh...I really want a time machine....

Just a thought

Today when having supper with a friend , a thought came across my mind...

Since when i became so cynical...like one of my friend who posted "warmth" recently ,i do agree with her in her views.

Sometimes we cant really expect too much from anything or anybody.For friends that i cherished i will give them my all.While for those who really get on my nerves i dont even want to ruin my day just by letting them appear in my visual field. One may think this is so extremely and may wonder how i would survive in the cruel and nasty world outside by not making 'friends"here and there.I beg to differ,when we have a choice,why not choose who means the most to you closer?Let them be a part of your life and share a laugh once in a while.

Compare to those who are really unspeakable....(beyond the capacity of words description),it is just a waste of time of even just talking to them.I am just not good of putting up a mask and be a part of masquerade like it is happening here in my living enviroment.

And living in this "prestigious" medical student life,i am still searching the" meaning of life" aside from realizing the reason for putting myself into medical school...

Just when i thought i figured out where i wanted to go,while in the middle of chasing it,it may be just a illusion....there's no real meaning or satisfying reason of actually having it...

I always ask myself not to worry to much,care too much, and just be myself....probably that is the best way of living in this enviroment ,yet on other part of my life,the answer is still unreachable.

In the end we are just humans who are searching for a place they call home,finding a reason to believe in,and maybe just need to fill in the puzzle piece that is missing for so long...

NEW posting...SURGERY...

My second last posting before the final showdown-----SURGERY....
It was once a posting i loved so much...now still is...hehe....and today at least i changed my enviroment and didnt stuck with people that infuriate me so much anymore....ohoho(victorious laugh)

Plus my "mentor" is Prof Chin who came back from UK recently....i am so happy....laporoscopic expert...people say he might be very good at video game too...

ahh....second last posting... ADD OIL MY FRIENDS!!!

Stranded again after swimming...zzz...

No....unfortunate things happen again...

After happily swam in UM pool(markedly improve water quality),the first intention was to buy bread in SS2...and disaster happen one more time travelling in motor with kim yan...zzzz

The motor just suddenlly went silent and refused to be ignite even after several vigorous attempt by Kim Yan.Conveniently i was being blamed again as the unlucky one to bring bad luck,aaa....no....

Guys if really afraid of bad luck and you believe it please dont come near me,initially i do believe in it,but in the end,i really need to remember :"shits happen."So,believe what you wana believe.

Sigh...shits really happen when you least expected it....I will RISE above....rise above.......aaaa....

1 day Conference In Prince Court Medical Center

My morning started with a voice outside zzzz......it was Kian Hua voice , asking me wether i wana join them (as a replacement)to go for a one day conference in Prince Court.I was still feeling very drowsy and a bit groogy....but after making sure there was no possible complication i agreed...it turned out to be a very great day for me.

The journey of getting to Prince Court was sort of a drama (between Azhani and Kian Hua)as the direction of getting there was not an easy task.I felt lucky i wasnt helping with the map reading...or else we would end up in god's know where...haha .The compound outside Prince Court was not as impressing(we couldnt even find the logo)as the interior part of the medical center...Kinda reminds me of Seattle Gray...But the overall design of the building is not the typical medical center...more like a five star hotel...

All the presenters and topics were very informative though some were quite out of my league and a bit boring(1 medical officer even fell asleep and snorred).Topic was focused on Cancer Cell Biology and case based discussion on colorectal carcinoma and breast carcinoma. The food was fabulous,and lots of gooffy moments through out the day.Plus i sort of patched things up with my very supportive studygroupmate (though it was a bit awkward and very hilarious when she admitted on reading my previous blog post,LOL...)

We snapped some photos and overall today it was a FINE day for me.I really need to thank the girl who let me replaced her and Kian Hua,Azhani,Selene and Rita for a great company.

Forensic....Death....

Today went to complete the quota on my forensic medicine...observed and signed 3 autopsies in one go...hehe...though not really all 3,the moment i went there 2 were nearly finish and 1 was just about to start.

Seeing those body lying there,really made me feel uncomfortable and experince sudden chills. Coming face to face with the "sequelae" of death,it felt so empty,and yet human are so fragile with such a brief existence.Those experts are really experts,1 did not even wore a mask ...And i find that human will lost their dignity after the soul has left the body(the scene of the body being manipulated,or handled in different ways triggered this thought)...

Some people might think why i get emo about dead bodies...but they were once alive with people that loved them...now it felt as though it was just an empty shell...

Plus today's case was extremely "challenging"because of the stench coming from the stomach content...one of the body was decomposing(found after a few days from the time of death)....huhu.....

Forensics medicine....i hope i never meet u again(aside from OBGY,PCM,SPM,Opthalmology .... XD)

A FURIOUS Day!!!!

Ah.....The anger,frustration,dissapointment and everything negatives had reached it peak today....

Posted to a posting than need to arrange every classess through the department,every lecturers are famous for the "ampleness",and another "very efficient" office guy than is running the job of calling and informing....Finally,the posting that had meet the match of PCM,opthalmology department....

They squeeze two session of clinic presentation in 1 morning,as if the anxiety of getting a new case is not enough,the very efficient office guy forgot to inform us than 2nd session lecturer prefer to do it in ward,therefore,clerk case in Ward,then i basically ran to the ward and find a case and clerk in 15 minutes.The Dr today had a very "nice" attitude towards me and so far everything had just been so perfect for that morning.

To add in the icing, i have very nice and supportive groupmates who would just complain and ask about anything unnessary(unsatisfactory oncal list,presentation to lecturer...etc),and everything in this world is about them.

The day was not finish yet,plus another issue with my "supportive" studygroupmate made me even more irritated....yes,that was the point where all the foul mood erupted...It just amazed me that humans can evolved into this kind of state...."selfish,self centered,self absorb,high dependency(as if in Intensive Care Unit)....Nearly all the words had the "self" inside....plus i keep imagining this picture in my head that my blood is being sucked dry by all these people(in my head it was a creature...haha...)

I Just want to shout outloud...:"Stop disturbing my Peace!!!!"