Wow,Log in Succesful

Its been months since my last entry...because of my itchy hand,changed the blog setting until i cant seem to log in.Seems like while this blog remain inactive,still got people spamming it...cough2...Hmm....until the next post...i am currently under a lots of stress...exam....work....Hopefully i will pull through...

Life,oh life...

Good news to share,passed my Part 1,having difficulty gaining my pace to study for part 2...somebody need to inject me with some motivation booster....

Able to switch department to Respiratory/Med,yes,dream came true....:)

Had a great trip in Taiwan.Felt free and easy,food paradise,nice scenery,with plenty of nice Taiwanese to help with the directions.Simply loved their public transport and food!!Not to forget cute dogs everywhere.

Enough with the neglect

Time to type!

It's really been awhile since my last entry.Looking back 2011 has not been easy.But what the hell,let bygone be bygone.


2012 may bring changes in all aspect of my life,just praying for the best may come.But whatever it is,i will try my best to take it as it comes,good or bad.

Attempted 2nd time MRCP exam part 1,so the verdict coming on Feb 10,hope it is good news this time,if it's not,might as well try again :).Spending the rest of my holidays with family back in west Malaysia.Just to sit down ,eat and watch TV shows together,im contented.


Gave myself a one day KL trip.Spent money like there's no tomorrow,but all had to be done anyway.Got extra 4 holes on my leather shoes,so need to buy a new pairs.Melted my working pants with the iron,so bought a few more just in case.Shopping can be so agonizing,especially when you cant find the things you are looking for...But saw some really nice CNY decoration especially in Pavillion,im so impressed with the Dragon.

In 2 more days it's time to start working again....sigh the sense of dread and unwillingness....Hope time whizz by sooner to month of March!

The ripple effect

Every incident happen in life leaves its consequences/after effect.

A friend that passed away suddenly made me realize again how abrupt and unpredictable life can be.Rather than sulking and being unhappy most of the times,i should make myself happier,and enjoy life more.

When routine sets in,life will get numb.It's not all about work,but the small encounter during the process that need to be cherish.I need to make sure ,the negative enviroment im in,doesnt take away the passion i had.To give up a dream and try to live others,it's worse than suicide.

So the conclusion,i will still stand by my dream!

Question of the day

Consultant :What is the most common brain tumor in Adults?
HO (girl) :Metastasis,thyroid carcinoma,rectum...
Consultant :What else...
HO (girl) :Erm...
Consultant :What do you have that other people dont have?
HO (girl) :Testis!?

Thank you for making my day,LOL....

End of september...

It's another month filled with different emotion/different encounter...My life has been far from simple/dull.Workings days for me it's never been always easy.But i think saying goodbye probably it's the hardest thing in life.Well ,life goes on for everyone...Live Life

Until we meet again -housemate/colleague/swimming kaki /my friend :)

THIEF!!!

Yes,it was a weird night.For no reason i had a can of nescafe,difficult to sleep....Finally slept at 1 am...Then...in the middle of the night woken up ,the window was opened,the shades was pulled to one side,and i could see a shadow standing near a window...

"HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!"i shouted,and he jumped down from the window side...

I couldnt slept well...This is the first time i felt so insecure in a house

Wished i had the stick or my squash racqet with me,then i can whack the brains out of the malicious thief!!!!

D4,D5 Jaipur,D6,D7 Udaipur...

Jaipur was the next destination for our india trip.Skipped Pushkar as wanted to reserve more time for Shimla...however my india trip end prematurely because of food poisoining....probably my gut would become more resilient after this....

Jaipur offered a different kind of sites to see.The city palace,the pink city and monkey temple were the fews that left some memories...Stayed in Pearl Heritage ,which to me was the MUST STAY hotel .Moderate room rates but 5 stars facilities /hospitality/restaurants/service....I must say Jaipur is the city to have a ayurvedic oil massage(to my shocking horror-need to strip near naked with a skimpy semi translucent underwear).It was really awkward but the massage was really relaxing...The visit to Choki Dani for some indian cultural experince plus great dinner was really worth the money...I even let a palm reader intrepreted my palm lines...here how it goes:

Me :HI,you speak english?
Palmist :Come,sit down(looking at my palm,not wasting anytime)
Palmist :Health got prob,long life,work in other country--good money good money
Me :Erm ok....
Palmist :Luck no prob,money no prob,hmm....angry nature ,angry nature...
Me :Wow,the angry nature kinda true
Palmist :Spend money a lot,strict person....once married 3 children...
Me :(now where did he get that???)
It only takes 5 minutes for him to read a person life...haha....

Udaipur is my favourite city of all.Peaceful,serene,soothing scenaries,lots of small shops to see/choose from...This is a city where arguebly is the most romantic city in India.I must admit it is kinda true.I had wonderful dinners with my travelling mates and met a spain couple who we encountered back in Delhi.Sadly this was the place where my food poisoining started...I cut short my trip and came back to west malaysia earlier....

I think this was the most challenging trip i ever been through ...with the upset stomach,extreme tempeture,tourist vultures, and vastly different culture/people...Never the less im just grateful to have experince such a trip with wonderful travelling mates...Being in India does changed my perspective on life...

Day 3 Agra

We left Delhi to Agra via train.The sights in Delhi were thought provoking...

The statement that India is a land of extremes is not over exaggerated.The poor comunity are really hardcore poor,sleeping on the streets with no proper shelter,kids malnourished with bronze coloured hair,scrawny bodies,begging on the streets...While some lived in luxurious home,kids pampered with all sorts of nice clothing/snacks...India's caste system practiced since their olden age left its impact even until modern days.Those poor will remain poor,and rich comunity will continue to prosper..

Im glad to leave Delhi,coming to Agra let me breath fresher air.Sadly visiting Agra i saw there a few instances why India gave tourists really bad experinces.We bought tickets for Taj Mahal near Eastern Gate,which needed 15 minutes of walking.There we noted a foreign Indian with his family being conned by other people into buying fake tickets(brown coloured) and was denied entrance to Taj Mahal.He complaint to the ticket officers but nothing much they could do.Both parties were annoyed with each other and in the end he need to buy the tickets(red coloured) again.His statement ring in my head for a very long time:"This is how india make more money,im so proud to be an Indian !"

I anticipated Taj Mahal even more after seeing other people ordeal/difficulty into witnessing one of the wonders of the world.We were lucky that we didnt fall into the hands of cunning tourist vulture,or the visit to Taj Mahal would be soured.From what i wanted to say,Taj Mahal Lived up to its beauty.The meer sight of the palace takes my breath away.I loved how the building radiate a pure glow of white,it felt so pure and majestic.The sun was ruthless again,even in the middle of the heat we had photo frenzy....The interior part of the palace was cooler in contrast to the outside,most probably it was built with marble stone,while the tombs sent out eerie kind of sadness...

Visit to Fathepur Sikhri was tainted by the dishonesty of our taxi driver.He asked for toll money though we thought it was included in the fee and we noted that he spoke something to the toll boy and he slipped back some money back concealed underneath a white paper.He tried to introduce us to guide but we were wise to refuse.The monument wasnt as amazing but still i can imagined its glory during the past.

Next Agra Fort was also an enjoyable place to visit as we were able to view Taj Mahal as how Emperor Shah Jahan did when he was imprisoned here.Loved the architecture but felt that some area lacked of safety precaution facilities .A child wander too close to the edge and luckily the parents manage to stop him in time.

Day 1 and 2 India - New Delhi

Yes,HOLIDAY!After long stretch of every other day oncalls finally im off to India for my long awaited end of housemanship trip...I should say that i am not well read on what im going to get myself into but my traveling mates had done enough research..

We reached New Delhi on 24/7/2011 and checked in Delhi Bed and breakfast.I was astounded on the detailed personal touch on every corner of the homestay.The room was very comfortable with well equit facilities such as TV,AC,Heater....etc...We only visited dreamland on the first night

We began our first day with a sumptuos breakfast prepared by homestay and went to the railway station to book train ticket for the rest of the journey.The owner gave us really good advice on what to do and to be careful of.It is true,the second we head our way to the ticket office located on 1st floor of the station,some chatty local indian came and tried to divert us to another place.A good advice for whoever wanted to buy train tickets,head straight towards the platform and there is stairs on right side,just go up and you will see the sign .There were people who were cheated into buying overprice tour-package.So,do not believe anyone who try to tell you anything when you try to buy train ticket from the official counter.

The first destination was Red Fort(Lal Qila).It was once a residence for Mughal Emperor Shah Jahan.The fort was built with red stone,under the hot scroching heat,the buildings looked magificient.We travel by taxi though there are places to reach etiher by foot or tricycle.After the red fort we headed for lunch which somehow we were diverted into another restaurant,overprice and food is just mediocre,so lesson to learn,if you wana go sumwhere specific,do not listen to driver:"closed...not open now......i have a better place..."it is just their scam to get comission when they brought new customers to the shop.

Jama Masjid was another disapointment.I got so irritated with the attitude of the people there....I told them im not using the camera in my pocket,but he insist to charge me for the camera,plus he tried and pulled out my camera from my jeans,really felt like punching the guy in the face.In response i just waited outside.

Next was the Humayun's Tomb,At least the lanscape of this monument was a scene to behold.Lot of locals visiting this landmark,and eagles/crows flying leisurely over the top of the tomb.

Day2 india ended with nice dinner from Saravanan's restaurant,We ordered Thali,mysore park,different kinds of roti and local drinks.it did provide some consolation after few unhappy experince during the day.

A new chapter

Been working as a neurosurgical medical officer for the past 1 month.Adjustment disorder is surely a problem.As i mentioned,the choice was not mine.I once thought i would be able to cut/repair on human body.But many experinces had thought me well that particular field is not my way of life in the future.

I know i need stability,i need time for things i feel important,and most importantly not being call in the middle of the night for some kind of emergency operation.The prolonged standing,the bloody gloves,working closely with anaesthesis,cold OT hall....OMG

But being in this department gave me a chance to see things existed underneath.How true , that people can appear kind but underneath lies a snake waiting to spit it's venom.People can make you believe,give you a thousand reason for you to make a decision,but what you didnt see it is also for their own benefit.

The longer in medical field,the lesser friend you would retain.Somehow perception on the ones you know will just change.Friends can become enemies ,in just matter of "cases".People tend to think for themselves 1st sometimes,rather than for the patient.

Endless learning,and i think i just started...

It's all about unhappiness

No matter how hard i tried,things doesnt go as planned..

When i try to accept a decision,a decision to give and take,but i was compromised instead..

What am i doing here?When initially i thought i have found the way,i got lost even deeper

I cant even imagine where will i be sometimes...

Other people can have their choices,why was i sacrificed? for the sake of the system that filled with flaws and personal agenda?

Is it worth it???

Some part of life,it's just like walking along the beach,leaving footsteps behind,after a few seconds,they are washed away by the wave,as if you were never here before...

Series of unfortunate events..

Im currently at one of the lowest state of my life...

Didnt make it through the exam,which i tried to prepare for the past 4 months...

Family members one by one got sick...(but recovering)

Unfinished issues with my sisters family,which really starts to get on my nerves...

Life may not go as planned,im trying my best to put a brave face on all of these and move on.It does hurt and felt defeated sometimes, when those you expect support seems to care less.

It doesnt really matter

Wipe away everything and life goes on...:)

Not a good news..

Today was the verdict,and unfortunately i dont have good news to share...Might as well try again next time...sigh....It's fake to say im not sad...but it's already done,might as well looked forward and go on,must pick up myself and try again...

Pray...

It was the day today,i had post exam headache...sigh....Had a taste of a private college facilities,it was not bad though...

A lot of people sent me their wishes,and i hope i dont let them down,crossing my fingers and praying hard now until the day result is ready.....

Simple pleasures

Simple pleasures :

Reading a book,alone, with a cold drink

Listening to music while facebooking

Driving ,no traffic jam

Bright sunny day,cloudy sky(even though sweaty)

Playing PS2

Swimming in the big pool,forgetting all the troubles on my mind

Shopping for books

Watching a nice movie in cinema(when plenty of seats are empty)

Spending time with friends

Talking over the phone,just to say :"how are you doing"

Lying in the bed,for that extra 5 minutes(usually becoming half an hour)

Unexpected/expected SMSs...

You do feel better,when you think of what you got,instead of dwelling on what you had not gain...

Letting go...

Life has many choices,when one door closes,another door may opened up...There are decisions to be made,and it is not about choosing the right one,it is about choosing what is best for everybody...Some say choices are made for you,when you live in a country like Malaysia....But people do beg to differ,if you do not give me options,i will give myself options....

My Brain and spongiform encephalopathies

It's becoming this sad state.When i wanted it to have more sulci and gyri,now it's atrophy with holes on it...I do felt old certain time but i felt my brain is deteorating even more...Einstein can you passed your wisdom to me in this trying times....

Counting days to May 10...before the ARMAGEDDON...

Something related but not directly.Had to cancel my Taiwan trip because of the exam,and yesterday i dreamt about travelling in Taiwan...sigh....Sacrifices....I want my holiday...................real bad...........

UN-happiness

Un-happy things has been going on in my sister's life,all those drama,really hated it...He is just like a chronic disease ,now causing all the ruckus again with all the money lenders...What worries me the most is their safety...sigh...times like this i wished i can do something but i am not capable ...

The world and people are fallen ill,and it is getting worse,when will all these sickness stop???maybe one day the greatest invention that really deserve a nobel price is a drug which counter the addiction to gambling...Then probably the world would be a better place

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Love can exist even beyond time and space....A nice one indeed!