Life is so unpredictable,so is disease progression.Life always give me a lesson that i may never forget for the rest of my life.And people say im a Jonah now...Maybe i am
It happen within minutes....He was talking fine to me in high dependency unit minutes ago after the morning blood taking,suddenly collapsed and unresponsive the other minute.While doing the CPR,bagging the patient,my heart was racing.
"What went wrong?"
"Why a minute ago you were perfectly fine,now your pupils are fixed and dilated?"
"Why has you heart stopped beating ?"
"Are we missing something here?"
I tried to intubate but to no avail,i've called for help,i've given adrenaline,bagging and CPR....What else can i do???........
Eventually thing sorted out when help came.Difficult intubation but in the end he was more stable.
I cannot meet the gaze of her wife when i left HDU.
I cannot bear seeing the teary face of a 50's old lady,who wondering what had become of her beloved....
I cannot imagine her feeling of insecurity and worriness,of losing a person who been sharing years and years of love and companionship.
While walking out from the hospital,it was another beautiful day with clear sky and bright sunshine.Inside my mind was a different story...
It happen within minutes....He was talking fine to me in high dependency unit minutes ago after the morning blood taking,suddenly collapsed and unresponsive the other minute.While doing the CPR,bagging the patient,my heart was racing.
"What went wrong?"
"Why a minute ago you were perfectly fine,now your pupils are fixed and dilated?"
"Why has you heart stopped beating ?"
"Are we missing something here?"
I tried to intubate but to no avail,i've called for help,i've given adrenaline,bagging and CPR....What else can i do???........
Eventually thing sorted out when help came.Difficult intubation but in the end he was more stable.
I cannot meet the gaze of her wife when i left HDU.
I cannot bear seeing the teary face of a 50's old lady,who wondering what had become of her beloved....
I cannot imagine her feeling of insecurity and worriness,of losing a person who been sharing years and years of love and companionship.
While walking out from the hospital,it was another beautiful day with clear sky and bright sunshine.Inside my mind was a different story...
2 comments:
we do feels bad when things happen out of our expectation. It is a disease progression. It is not we don't know how to handle. But is our limitation in knowledge.. One day, we will be a better one!!! Keep it up, bro..
I'm now in HDU, i knew the guy you mentioned.
Life is unpredictable. Sometime, i will question myself: " Why didnt you feel anything about the lost? "
" Why are you so blunt about your feeling?"
" Where is the girl tat with cry secretly when she lost her patient? "
But as what you said, we did our best, we tried hard but sometime it just against our will.
But at least, you can proudly saying loud, "i was not panic, i did the best i could at tat moment"
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