Stranded again after swimming...zzz...

No....unfortunate things happen again...

After happily swam in UM pool(markedly improve water quality),the first intention was to buy bread in SS2...and disaster happen one more time travelling in motor with kim yan...zzzz

The motor just suddenlly went silent and refused to be ignite even after several vigorous attempt by Kim Yan.Conveniently i was being blamed again as the unlucky one to bring bad luck,aaa....no....

Guys if really afraid of bad luck and you believe it please dont come near me,initially i do believe in it,but in the end,i really need to remember :"shits happen."So,believe what you wana believe.

Sigh...shits really happen when you least expected it....I will RISE above....rise above.......aaaa....

1 day Conference In Prince Court Medical Center

My morning started with a voice outside zzzz......it was Kian Hua voice , asking me wether i wana join them (as a replacement)to go for a one day conference in Prince Court.I was still feeling very drowsy and a bit groogy....but after making sure there was no possible complication i agreed...it turned out to be a very great day for me.

The journey of getting to Prince Court was sort of a drama (between Azhani and Kian Hua)as the direction of getting there was not an easy task.I felt lucky i wasnt helping with the map reading...or else we would end up in god's know where...haha .The compound outside Prince Court was not as impressing(we couldnt even find the logo)as the interior part of the medical center...Kinda reminds me of Seattle Gray...But the overall design of the building is not the typical medical center...more like a five star hotel...

All the presenters and topics were very informative though some were quite out of my league and a bit boring(1 medical officer even fell asleep and snorred).Topic was focused on Cancer Cell Biology and case based discussion on colorectal carcinoma and breast carcinoma. The food was fabulous,and lots of gooffy moments through out the day.Plus i sort of patched things up with my very supportive studygroupmate (though it was a bit awkward and very hilarious when she admitted on reading my previous blog post,LOL...)

We snapped some photos and overall today it was a FINE day for me.I really need to thank the girl who let me replaced her and Kian Hua,Azhani,Selene and Rita for a great company.

Forensic....Death....

Today went to complete the quota on my forensic medicine...observed and signed 3 autopsies in one go...hehe...though not really all 3,the moment i went there 2 were nearly finish and 1 was just about to start.

Seeing those body lying there,really made me feel uncomfortable and experince sudden chills. Coming face to face with the "sequelae" of death,it felt so empty,and yet human are so fragile with such a brief existence.Those experts are really experts,1 did not even wore a mask ...And i find that human will lost their dignity after the soul has left the body(the scene of the body being manipulated,or handled in different ways triggered this thought)...

Some people might think why i get emo about dead bodies...but they were once alive with people that loved them...now it felt as though it was just an empty shell...

Plus today's case was extremely "challenging"because of the stench coming from the stomach content...one of the body was decomposing(found after a few days from the time of death)....huhu.....

Forensics medicine....i hope i never meet u again(aside from OBGY,PCM,SPM,Opthalmology .... XD)

A FURIOUS Day!!!!

Ah.....The anger,frustration,dissapointment and everything negatives had reached it peak today....

Posted to a posting than need to arrange every classess through the department,every lecturers are famous for the "ampleness",and another "very efficient" office guy than is running the job of calling and informing....Finally,the posting that had meet the match of PCM,opthalmology department....

They squeeze two session of clinic presentation in 1 morning,as if the anxiety of getting a new case is not enough,the very efficient office guy forgot to inform us than 2nd session lecturer prefer to do it in ward,therefore,clerk case in Ward,then i basically ran to the ward and find a case and clerk in 15 minutes.The Dr today had a very "nice" attitude towards me and so far everything had just been so perfect for that morning.

To add in the icing, i have very nice and supportive groupmates who would just complain and ask about anything unnessary(unsatisfactory oncal list,presentation to lecturer...etc),and everything in this world is about them.

The day was not finish yet,plus another issue with my "supportive" studygroupmate made me even more irritated....yes,that was the point where all the foul mood erupted...It just amazed me that humans can evolved into this kind of state...."selfish,self centered,self absorb,high dependency(as if in Intensive Care Unit)....Nearly all the words had the "self" inside....plus i keep imagining this picture in my head that my blood is being sucked dry by all these people(in my head it was a creature...haha...)

I Just want to shout outloud...:"Stop disturbing my Peace!!!!"

Tropic Thunder,must watch!!!

Another Ben Stiller movie which will just make anybody in the lowest mood to laugh out real loud again(since in an irritating posting plus irritating groupmates thus really need this boost...haa...)

Anybody who like lots of explosion,war like action plus endless of funny suprises perhaps this is the perfect movie to spend time on.Movies by Ben Stiller usually have certain level that meets my requirements...hehe...and this time he had Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr) working alongside with him,plus other bigtime actors and actress appeared now and then...

A day of joy and sense of relieve...

At last,after 1 week plus of intensive study(not really,slack off in the middle),and two days of pure adrenalin rush ,i passed my ACLS....:-D

Advanced Cardiovascular Life Support(ACLS) is a course held by Accident and Emergency department in UH.The course was very gruelling as i need to perform CPR and had a CPR competency test....Plus tons of treatment pathway for heart rhythms problems and how to use the defibrillator machine and...etc etc....Practical test(Megacode) and written test were on today...and i had a bad dream about it...huhu...Luckily still able to pass.

I would recommend to anyone who are interested to go.But better have more time to study and prepare for it,as it is not guaranteed pass even though u pass up RM500(another reason i was so pressured to pass this course)

All the instructors are very friendly and resourceful.Especially Dr Alex who indirectly pushed me to remember harder to say"i am goin to deliver a shock on 3!"....hehe...will never forget that.Dr Wee,Dr Izzad,Dr Khalid are also very helpful with all those extra tips...huhu..Thanks.....

Relaxation and rest,i Need you both....:)

Staying Alive-A must read

Stumbled on this particular books last 2 weeks ago and now nearly finish reading it.Ample time in current posting gave me a chance to do the many things i liked-reading :)

This book was written by Janet Reibstein,a book or rather a family memoir largely concerning about breast cancer.The book vividly described the nature of breast cancer ,its psychological effects on sufferers and surrounding people,the aftermath even after post operation.It started off with Janet's mother's,her aunts and finally it reached Janet herself.

It is interesting and eye opening to see and at least feel together with the writter how breast cancer can alter life but yet,not surrender to it.This lifestory demonstate courage to live, honesty,love and respect in the times of dire need.

Sometimes we have the urge to cry with patients or hide that drop of tear that may nearly escape while in the middle history taking .Often in reality,at least for me,all of this emotion got swallowed up.I always wonder,is it FINE to show how we truely feel,or just be the shoulder to let them cry on?We will be the bringer of good or bad news,and we will always forget,patients are humans like us too,all they need is another person aside from their family to tell them :"i am with you."

If you give this book a chance,you may get more than you bargain for.

Night until dawn in Accident and Emergency...

Sunday night was a night i suddenly felt so motivated to go and do something in ANE....But it turned out to be a very rewarding experince even though i am so tired right now...(till no mood to study)...

The Drs are so nice in ANE...Dr Khalid,Dr Mahmoud...and another Dr i cant remeber what was his name.Even though i met failure a few times in getting that branula inside those tiny little veins...they still feel grateful that i helped out.Plus the Drs let me sutured on my own but helped out by another senior staff nurse...(after he ascertained i knew what i was doing...)

Plus the patients came with such diverse complaint....head injury due to trauma,assault,chest pain,hepatic encephalopathy,seizure,dehydration,myocardial infarction,possible drug overdose,asthma....endless.And each of them were so willing to entertain med student like me for some questions...

ANE...finally i see what a lot of colleagues and Drs want me to see....It is a place where everything is "Happening"...but i know not everyday will be this Sunday i had...but i am grateful for it...:)

Series addictions...Greys...

Aside from becoming an bleachmaniac,desperatemaniac,pushing daisy maniac.....tons of other maniacs.....(gasp)....im in fear that maybe i am getting too addictted to all those wonderful western series....

Nowadays im watching series that i never even thought i liked.To name a few Gossip Girl,Mentallist,Fringe,My Name Is Earl ....the latest to my addition of addiction is True Blood...oh somebody save me....(Small ville)

Just finish the latest Grey's and this episode 7 for season 5 is not too bad,finaly the story picked up the flavour again as previous few episode was not so intriguing to me...Lots of people hated the sex part in Greys,bt actually they dont watch too much of series because what is in Greys is not too bad if compare to others(eg Nip/Tuck).This episode brought some issues on :

Wether is it really ethically correct for covering up for fellow collegue in med legal case (Izzie 's story with Denny)

Correct bedside manner and attitude(Dr Hunt's enragement over the attitudes of the residents when dealing with patient and Dr Bailey's reaction when she found out they used cadavers to practice surgery but didnt pay proper respect to them)

Wether what we do is beneficial to the patients(argument between Chief and Dr Hans over Izzie's past mistake)

Issues concerning medical ethics sometimes is really hard to define right or wrong when it involves too many people(esp if we know or care too much).If we take Dr Hans perspective into account,probably Izzie wont be in Grey's anymore.But the "correct" thing to do in real life would be reporting izzie ,as everything in real life is centered around patient's well being.

But the Chief's argument was proper action had been taken and Dr should learn from past mistakes and become an even excellent Dr.We cannot deny that this sounds right too .We are humans and will make tons of mistakes in our brief existences.The only way to make sure we do no harm in practice is to make tons of it when we are 'in training" and "supervised" so that we can learn from it.Mistakes and failures are part of our lifes and enriched us to become a better person and DR(some Dr told me before).Some patients in real life dont understand Drs are human too and got a lawyer to punish for the imperfection.

But the funny thing is,if we dig up the past and it doesnt makes any difference to the management and well being of the patient(even though reporting is the right thing to do)will you still do it??I know i wont...plus there will always be grey areas no matter where or what we do.

On the other hand Izzie's love to Denny is never ending...(sigh....pure love...sob2).

Another series im hooked up is True Blood.I loved it because of the drama,cool actors and actress,not to mention bloody fictional and just simply COOL!!! :)Though totally different from Greys...haha....series....I am so in love ....

10 Promises To My Dog

Since accident and emergency teaching or rather the unformal classess are over,thought of being hardworking by studying in the morning,but when i switch on my laptop that always filled with all those unseen movies....really cant fight the temptation...:)

As i was clicking for entertainment to go with this morning's roti canai,i finally spotted what i wanted to watch...10 Promises To a Dog

This is a story about a girl named Akari and her little puppy golden retriever(my favourite breed of dog...XD)Socks.The story revolved around where they grew up together,experinced the sadness of seperation , shared the joy of reuniting,and other ups and downs in life...

Socks was so esssential in Akari's life because she was the one who kept her going after her mother passed away. Akari met Socks not long ago .Since the begining,Akari's mum help Socks to get 10 promises from Akari....:

1)Listen patiently to what i have to say

2)Trust me,i will always be by your side

3)Play with me a lot

4)Dont forget,i have feelings too

5)Let's never fight,someday i will win

6)If i dont obey you,i have a good reason

7)You have schools and friends,but as for me,i only have you

8)Stay as my best friends,even when i am old

9)I Lived for about 10 years,so let's make every moments counts

10)Never forget the time we be together,keep this in your mind,so when my time comes,please be by my side

This movie is so simple but yet reaches into people's heart.And it is true, puppies can be a better friends to us in real life rather than those people who betrayed you but still pretending they cared or those people who find you when they needed something from you(so disgusting)...Between Akari and Socks,we can really see the pure trust,love and friendship(though every relationship have their problem...hehe)

This is another superb movie after "Quill"(another story about a Golden retriever)

Because of this movie,i added in another 10 reasons i should really befriend a doggy in this cutthroat world....sigh....have to wait and wait until i have my own place and time...huhu....

Have a peek at this movie,you wont regret it :)

P/S:may get symptoms of teary eyes(epiphora) and sudden onset of increased nasal discharge(rhinorrhea)

It rained :)

The weather had been so hot lately...finally it rained today....Been feeling a bit unwell these few days...now infective rhinitis has reach it's full throttle....constant nasal discharge and nose block just give me the irks!...

Been thinking a lot about my future and how uncertain life would be...I am actually considering to do houseman in SAbah but i already filled in HOspital Melaka as first choice...Do not know what is my option now because i am having this crazy thoughts of volunteering to Sabah during interview....haha....Now waiting for prof Patrick Tan's email reply....Guess his taking his sweet time in Sydney...:)

When i think of final exam next year March and all the stuff i had forgot....will be on the edge of stressing out...so many things to revise...currently at my 3rd last posting...Minor postings...The sense of "impending death"(like myocardial infarction) is so scary..

Sigh....worries worries....though most of the time trying to be happy,but will always succumb when think of the future and final exam....I need to remind myself all the time...Must pass and beome a safe DR...