Miles from hO-Me

Enough with the neglect

2012-01-27T01:25:00.003+08:00

Time to type!

It's really been awhile since my last entry.Looking back 2011 has not been easy.But what the hell,let bygone be bygone.

2012 may bring changes in all aspect of my life,just praying for the best may come.But whatever it is,i will try my best to take it as it comes,good or bad.

Attempted 2nd time MRCP exam part 1,so the verdict coming on Feb 10,hope it is good news this time,if it's not,might as well try again :).Spending the rest of my holidays with family back in west Malaysia.Just to sit down ,eat and watch TV shows together,im contented.

Gave myself a one day KL trip.Spent money like there's no tomorrow,but all had to be done anyway.Got extra 4 holes on my leather shoes,so need to buy a new pairs.Melted my working pants with the iron,so bought a few more just in case.Shopping can be so agonizing,especially when you cant find the things you are looking for...But saw some really nice CNY decoration especially in Pavillion,im so impressed with the Dragon.

In 2 more days it's time to start working again....sigh the sense of dread and unwillingness....Hope time whizz by sooner to month of March!

The ripple effect

2011-12-09T22:50:00.002+08:00

Every incident happen in life leaves its consequences/after effect.

A friend that passed away suddenly made me realize again how abrupt and unpredictable life can be.Rather than sulking and being unhappy most of the times,i should make myself happier,and enjoy life more.

When routine sets in,life will get numb.It's not all about work,but the small encounter during the process that need to be cherish.I need to make sure ,the negative enviroment im in,doesnt take away the passion i had.To give up a dream and try to live others,it's worse than suicide.

So the conclusion,i will still stand by my dream!

Question of the day

2011-10-10T20:00:00.002+08:00

Consultant :What is the most common brain tumor in Adults?
HO (girl) :Metastasis,thyroid carcinoma,rectum...
Consultant :What else...
HO (girl) :Erm...
Consultant :What do you have that other people dont have?
HO (girl) :Testis!?

Thank you for making my day,LOL....

End of september...

2011-09-29T19:46:00.002+08:00

It's another month filled with different emotion/different encounter...My life has been far from simple/dull.Workings days for me it's never been always easy.But i think saying goodbye probably it's the hardest thing in life.Well ,life goes on for everyone...Live Life

Until we meet again -housemate/colleague/swimming kaki /my friend :)

THIEF!!!

2011-08-15T19:13:00.003+08:00

Yes,it was a weird night.For no reason i had a can of nescafe,difficult to sleep....Finally slept at 1 am...Then...in the middle of the night woken up ,the window was opened,the shades was pulled to one side,and i could see a shadow standing near a window...

"HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!"i shouted,and he jumped down from the window side...

I couldnt slept well...This is the first time i felt so insecure in a house

Wished i had the stick or my squash racqet with me,then i can whack the brains out of the malicious thief!!!!

D4,D5 Jaipur,D6,D7 Udaipur...

2011-08-13T00:12:00.004+08:00

Jaipur was the next destination for our india trip.Skipped Pushkar as wanted to reserve more time for Shimla...however my india trip end prematurely because of food poisoining....probably my gut would become more resilient after this....

Jaipur offered a different kind of sites to see.The city palace,the pink city and monkey temple were the fews that left some memories...Stayed in Pearl Heritage ,which to me was the MUST STAY hotel .Moderate room rates but 5 stars facilities /hospitality/restaurants/service....I must say Jaipur is the city to have a ayurvedic oil massage(to my shocking horror-need to strip near naked with a skimpy semi translucent underwear).It was really awkward but the massage was really relaxing...The visit to Choki Dani for some indian cultural experince plus great dinner was really worth the money...I even let a palm reader intrepreted my palm lines...here how it goes:

Me :HI,you speak english?
Palmist :Come,sit down(looking at my palm,not wasting anytime)
Palmist :Health got prob,long life,work in other country--good money good money
Me :Erm ok....
Palmist :Luck no prob,money no prob,hmm....angry nature ,angry nature...
Me :Wow,the angry nature kinda true
Palmist :Spend money a lot,strict person....once married 3 children...
Me :(now where did he get that???)
It only takes 5 minutes for him to read a person life...haha....

Udaipur is my favourite city of all.Peaceful,serene,soothing scenaries,lots of small shops to see/choose from...This is a city where arguebly is the most romantic city in India.I must admit it is kinda true.I had wonderful dinners with my travelling mates and met a spain couple who we encountered back in Delhi.Sadly this was the place where my food poisoining started...I cut short my trip and came back to west malaysia earlier....

I think this was the most challenging trip i ever been through ...with the upset stomach,extreme tempeture,tourist vultures, and vastly different culture/people...Never the less im just grateful to have experince such a trip with wonderful travelling mates...Being in India does changed my perspective on life...

Day 3 Agra

2011-08-01T19:28:00.006+08:00

We left Delhi to Agra via train.The sights in Delhi were thought provoking...

The statement that India is a land of extremes is not over exaggerated.The poor comunity are really hardcore poor,sleeping on the streets with no proper shelter,kids malnourished with bronze coloured hair,scrawny bodies,begging on the streets...While some lived in luxurious home,kids pampered with all sorts of nice clothing/snacks...India's caste system practiced since their olden age left its impact even until modern days.Those poor will remain poor,and rich comunity will continue to prosper..

Im glad to leave Delhi,coming to Agra let me breath fresher air.Sadly visiting Agra i saw there a few instances why India gave tourists really bad experinces.We bought tickets for Taj Mahal near Eastern Gate,which needed 15 minutes of walking.There we noted a foreign Indian with his family being conned by other people into buying fake tickets(brown coloured) and was denied entrance to Taj Mahal.He complaint to the ticket officers but nothing much they could do.Both parties were annoyed with each other and in the end he need to buy the tickets(red coloured) again.His statement ring in my head for a very long time:"This is how india make more money,im so proud to be an Indian !"

I anticipated Taj Mahal even more after seeing other people ordeal/difficulty into witnessing one of the wonders of the world.We were lucky that we didnt fall into the hands of cunning tourist vulture,or the visit to Taj Mahal would be soured.From what i wanted to say,Taj Mahal Lived up to its beauty.The meer sight of the palace takes my breath away.I loved how the building radiate a pure glow of white,it felt so pure and majestic.The sun was ruthless again,even in the middle of the heat we had photo frenzy....The interior part of the palace was cooler in contrast to the outside,most probably it was built with marble stone,while the tombs sent out eerie kind of sadness...

Visit to Fathepur Sikhri was tainted by the dishonesty of our taxi driver.He asked for toll money though we thought it was included in the fee and we noted that he spoke something to the toll boy and he slipped back some money back concealed underneath a white paper.He tried to introduce us to guide but we were wise to refuse.The monument wasnt as amazing but still i can imagined its glory during the past.

Next Agra Fort was also an enjoyable place to visit as we were able to view Taj Mahal as how Emperor Shah Jahan did when he was imprisoned here.Loved the architecture but felt that some area lacked of safety precaution facilities .A child wander too close to the edge and luckily the parents manage to stop him in time.

Day 1 and 2 India - New Delhi

2011-07-27T01:36:00.010+08:00

Yes,HOLIDAY!After long stretch of every other day oncalls finally im off to India for my long awaited end of housemanship trip...I should say that i am not well read on what im going to get myself into but my traveling mates had done enough research..

We reached New Delhi on 24/7/2011 and checked in Delhi Bed and breakfast.I was astounded on the detailed personal touch on every corner of the homestay.The room was very comfortable with well equit facilities such as TV,AC,Heater....etc...We only visited dreamland on the first night

We began our first day with a sumptuos breakfast prepared by homestay and went to the railway station to book train ticket for the rest of the journey.The owner gave us really good advice on what to do and to be careful of.It is true,the second we head our way to the ticket office located on 1st floor of the station,some chatty local indian came and tried to divert us to another place.A good advice for whoever wanted to buy train tickets,head straight towards the platform and there is stairs on right side,just go up and you will see the sign .There were people who were cheated into buying overprice tour-package.So,do not believe anyone who try to tell you anything when you try to buy train ticket from the official counter.

The first destination was Red Fort(Lal Qila).It was once a residence for Mughal Emperor Shah Jahan.The fort was built with red stone,under the hot scroching heat,the buildings looked magificient.We travel by taxi though there are places to reach etiher by foot or tricycle.After the red fort we headed for lunch which somehow we were diverted into another restaurant,overprice and food is just mediocre,so lesson to learn,if you wana go sumwhere specific,do not listen to driver:"closed...not open now......i have a better place..."it is just their scam to get comission when they brought new customers to the shop.

Jama Masjid was another disapointment.I got so irritated with the attitude of the people there....I told them im not using the camera in my pocket,but he insist to charge me for the camera,plus he tried and pulled out my camera from my jeans,really felt like punching the guy in the face.In response i just waited outside.

Next was the Humayun's Tomb,At least the lanscape of this monument was a scene to behold.Lot of locals visiting this landmark,and eagles/crows flying leisurely over the top of the tomb.

Day2 india ended with nice dinner from Saravanan's restaurant,We ordered Thali,mysore park,different kinds of roti and local drinks.it did provide some consolation after few unhappy experince during the day.

A new chapter

2011-07-21T18:24:00.002+08:00

Been working as a neurosurgical medical officer for the past 1 month.Adjustment disorder is surely a problem.As i mentioned,the choice was not mine.I once thought i would be able to cut/repair on human body.But many experinces had thought me well that particular field is not my way of life in the future.

I know i need stability,i need time for things i feel important,and most importantly not being call in the middle of the night for some kind of emergency operation.The prolonged standing,the bloody gloves,working closely with anaesthesis,cold OT hall....OMG

But being in this department gave me a chance to see things existed underneath.How true , that people can appear kind but underneath lies a snake waiting to spit it's venom.People can make you believe,give you a thousand reason for you to make a decision,but what you didnt see it is also for their own benefit.

The longer in medical field,the lesser friend you would retain.Somehow perception on the ones you know will just change.Friends can become enemies ,in just matter of "cases".People tend to think for themselves 1st sometimes,rather than for the patient.

Endless learning,and i think i just started...

It's all about unhappiness

2011-06-15T21:46:00.005+08:00

No matter how hard i tried,things doesnt go as planned..

When i try to accept a decision,a decision to give and take,but i was compromised instead..

What am i doing here?When initially i thought i have found the way,i got lost even deeper

I cant even imagine where will i be sometimes...

Other people can have their choices,why was i sacrificed? for the sake of the system that filled with flaws and personal agenda?

Is it worth it???

Some part of life,it's just like walking along the beach,leaving footsteps behind,after a few seconds,they are washed away by the wave,as if you were never here before...

Series of unfortunate events..

2011-06-05T15:31:00.003+08:00

Im currently at one of the lowest state of my life...

Didnt make it through the exam,which i tried to prepare for the past 4 months...

Family members one by one got sick...(but recovering)

Unfinished issues with my sisters family,which really starts to get on my nerves...

Life may not go as planned,im trying my best to put a brave face on all of these and move on.It does hurt and felt defeated sometimes, when those you expect support seems to care less.

It doesnt really matter

Wipe away everything and life goes on...:)

Not a good news..

2011-06-03T20:48:00.002+08:00

Today was the verdict,and unfortunately i dont have good news to share...Might as well try again next time...sigh....It's fake to say im not sad...but it's already done,might as well looked forward and go on,must pick up myself and try again...

Pray...

2011-05-11T00:46:00.002+08:00

It was the day today,i had post exam headache...sigh....Had a taste of a private college facilities,it was not bad though...

A lot of people sent me their wishes,and i hope i dont let them down,crossing my fingers and praying hard now until the day result is ready.....

Simple pleasures

2011-05-01T20:57:00.005+08:00

Simple pleasures :

Reading a book,alone, with a cold drink

Listening to music while facebooking

Driving ,no traffic jam

Bright sunny day,cloudy sky(even though sweaty)

Playing PS2

Swimming in the big pool,forgetting all the troubles on my mind

Shopping for books

Watching a nice movie in cinema(when plenty of seats are empty)

Spending time with friends

Talking over the phone,just to say :"how are you doing"

Lying in the bed,for that extra 5 minutes(usually becoming half an hour)

Unexpected/expected SMSs...

You do feel better,when you think of what you got,instead of dwelling on what you had not gain...

Letting go...

2011-04-30T20:46:00.002+08:00

Life has many choices,when one door closes,another door may opened up...There are decisions to be made,and it is not about choosing the right one,it is about choosing what is best for everybody...Some say choices are made for you,when you live in a country like Malaysia....But people do beg to differ,if you do not give me options,i will give myself options....

My Brain and spongiform encephalopathies

2011-04-19T18:58:00.003+08:00

It's becoming this sad state.When i wanted it to have more sulci and gyri,now it's atrophy with holes on it...I do felt old certain time but i felt my brain is deteorating even more...Einstein can you passed your wisdom to me in this trying times....

Counting days to May 10...before the ARMAGEDDON...

Something related but not directly.Had to cancel my Taiwan trip because of the exam,and yesterday i dreamt about travelling in Taiwan...sigh....Sacrifices....I want my holiday...................real bad...........

UN-happiness

2011-04-14T18:45:00.003+08:00

Un-happy things has been going on in my sister's life,all those drama,really hated it...He is just like a chronic disease ,now causing all the ruckus again with all the money lenders...What worries me the most is their safety...sigh...times like this i wished i can do something but i am not capable ...

The world and people are fallen ill,and it is getting worse,when will all these sickness stop???maybe one day the greatest invention that really deserve a nobel price is a drug which counter the addiction to gambling...Then probably the world would be a better place

Source Code

2011-04-09T22:41:00.004+08:00

Love can exist even beyond time and space....A nice one indeed!

The reason why to love Sabah Part 2

2011-04-05T21:17:00.014+08:00

It's been awhile since i put photos ...just some i took out of randomness/trips.1st one it's one of the view in Laban Rata,halfway to Mount Kinabalu

Witnessing sunrise on the top of Mount Kinabalu,experince of a lifetime.

View outiside our hostel in Laban Rata,Mount Kinabalu

A Kingfisher,caught on camera while it was sleeping on a branch...Medical camp in Sukau,Sandakan

Last year's Long Zou competition at Likas Beach

Sunset views in Kg Klokol...

The world just need a little of our time and attention,to discover what is around us...

Why not enjoy the journey,instead of missing every single chance by rushing away....

Saturday afternoon...

2011-04-02T13:04:00.002+08:00

I know i should be studying,just that right now i do not have the mood.Surgical posting is the last posting.With the exam on the mind im really not enjoying it... Sometimes this sense of escapism sets it,and i just felt like walking away... I am often thinking,is there another path for me? Sigh...hot ,boring saturday afternoon...

Denial..

2011-03-22T21:11:00.002+08:00

As time goes by,this word gets more and more relevant..

Exam date is near,but im still procastinating,it's denial...

Getting breathless after a few flights of stairs,consoling myself will get some more exercise,just that no time now...(denial again)

"i thought i knew the pathophysiology...maybe i just blank out..."(denial of ignorence)

Somebody came up and say:"hey i know about........." Me with a monotonous tone:"Is it?i know nothing about it. Hey i got stomachache,chat next time."(denial smack right on your face)

Maybe i should just wake myself up and stop dreaming,it is time to live the moment right now

Change is near...

2011-02-23T17:10:00.003+08:00

Change is always a part of life.It is the end of a posting and a starting for the last one.In no time soon i would be somewhere other than here...

When you are comfortable with something,you will always become complacent,afraid of what new changes may bring...Now this is the second phase of change ,so much of uncertainty...especially location of district that will be posted to...

Another thing on my mind would be the working colleagues ...working team is always very important.Let's hope that the future ones are as excellent as d ones i worked with...

With change a person can learn about himself better,no matter what may come...I like changes but at the same time dread its uncertainty...There is not always a rainbow after a rain you know...haha...Just hoping for the best to come!

A letter to my patients

2011-01-16T11:14:00.005+08:00

Dear patients,

I know there's a small lump on your face,but that doesnt mean you cant work and need a MC.

I know it is very painful,please let me prepare the medication 1st.

I know you waited a long time,that doesnt give you the right to cut queue(esp when the patient before you are elderly)

I know your relative is sick,that doesnt mean you can scold our staff without any good reasons.

I know it is a very very tempting "sup tulang",please remember you have gouty arthritis.

I know you want to have a friday night fever,but dont bikin panas by fighting with other friday feverish people.

I know it is nice to get high on booze,but please dont DRINK and DRIVE!

I know you are Datuk/Datin,please remember other people is also not feeling well.

I know it is a lot of medication,please remember to take them/refill PRN!!!

I know hospital is the last place you wana be in,but please do come before it really got worse...

I know i may sound rude and harsh,in the end im just a human,who may just care too much or just too tired at certain times.

I know life can be full of suprises,so stay healthy and safe so we can enjoy every moment of our life...

Yours sincerely,
A human who in dire need of a break

My 1st Saman(traffic offense)

2011-01-04T18:35:00.003+08:00

Yup,and it was causing obstruction to the traffic....finding the traffic police station was also an adventure,nearly walked the whole Gaya street (it was actually located outside of it...zzz...)

Music

2011-01-03T20:41:00.002+08:00

Another part of life that i enjoyed the most is listening to music,especially when the songs resounds with your mood or thoughts.

My daily routine,except from work(eat up a chunk of of time a day),would be travelling to work.Yes,Kota Kinabalu HAS TRAFFIC JAM.(It really irks me that some of my old school mates thought that Sabah is very "kampung".)During the entrapment,music is the greatest escape.

It's doesnt matter how bad my voice sounds,sometimes i will just have a nice sing along.(which might be visible through the windshield,who cares!).My recent favourite playlist would be songs from albums such as Train -Save Me San Francisco,Katy Perry -Teenage Dream....Daughtry is a all time favourite ,but linkin park was just a dissapointment...

My car secret compartment will soon burst out with all the CDs i bought...Im so glad that nowadays whenever i feel a bit impulsive,i can just buy the CDs...regardless the price...:)
Great music is worth the money!

Last entry for the year 2010

2010-12-31T16:55:00.002+08:00

A year gone by so fast.....Many events,many emotions...Sometimes i wonder how i got through some of the things happened...

It was another memorable year.Hoping years to come will be full of suprises,happiness and learning experince! Goodbye 2010 and Happy 2011!

i just wana curl inside my bed...

2010-12-10T17:41:00.003+08:00

A day to rest from night shift,initial had flight of ideas to go to town,pay car loan,a movie perhaps...but in the end woken up at 5pm.Then it rained.

Last night it rain too,but i was in hospital,attending patinet in total darkness(electricity blackout).

It's nice to hear it sings.Other people love rainy days,im one of them too...:)

Day become night,and night become day...

2010-11-29T16:41:00.002+08:00

It's fully reverse now,limited houseman,no rehat malam,everyday im more and more nocturnal....I came back to to an empty house evry morning,seems a bit depressing,but liking the whole space for myself...Been skipping lunch nowadays,which means getting more and more cachexic....Everyday has been not easy,but this is life...Im so going to enjoy my new year holiday next year...so until then,work everyday like there's no tomorrow....Suprisingly in the mist of failure of the system ,somehow deep inside im kind of enjoying it...twisted isnt it?...

Simple,easy,just taking a breather..

2010-11-23T18:00:00.003+08:00

Yes,recovering from my URTI,on and off will still have headache...It's been quite sometime i havent spend some time alone,just sitting there quietly,with a book infront of me,letting the time passed by ...

No obligations,no emergencies,no tension/stress, just taking a breather before the coming storm....(9 housemans in casualty...)

Hiccups...

2010-11-19T00:29:00.005+08:00

It's been ages since i had one episode...and it just happen to occur when i had an bad case of upper respiratory tract infection.Runny nose,sore throat,fever and hiccups...

Some info about hiccup which to share(taken from emedicine-the website you trust XD)

Hiccup,medical term= singultus.It serve no purpose except to irritate you.It just an embarassement when you are having it while listening to patient's problem(but it does make d kids laughed).Usually affect the left hemodiaphragm.It can occur 4-60 times per minute.

Exact cause of it?=Mystery

Brilliant people has been postulating:

Hypocrates and celcus=liver inflamation

Shortt 1833=phrenic nerve irritation

Bailey 1943 has come up with a hiccup relex arch,which consist of afferent limb,hiccup center,connections to other systems and efferent limbs.

It will ring a red flag if the hiccup has been persistent more than 48 hours,which required a very detail history and examinations.Basically everything can caused a persistent /intractable hiccup.

Respiratory :pneumonia,empyema,asthma,bronchitis,diaphragmatic injuries.
Cardiac :pericarditis,myocardial infarction,
Electrolyte :low sodium,potassium,calcium,uraemia,
GI Tract :peritonitis,abscess,gastroenteritis,esophagitis...and there's more to go...

Treatment options:
Conventional methods:breath holding,changing breathing pattern,stucking a catheter into nose/mouth,digital rectal stimulation(wow),carotid massage...etc etc

Medical:
haloperidol,metochlopramide...

It's just a simple hiccup,but it can mean so much more...thankfully mine has resolved...

Life = Beautiful

2010-11-02T23:56:00.002+08:00

I come to a conclusion that life can be very simple,to gain,there's always giving/sharing.plus that little luck factor.

With painful legs/knees for 3 days,i have seen the most beautiful sunrise in my life,made really good memories with my friends,and see how truely wonderful Sabah can be.

With sacrifice of being near to home,i have seen the beautiful side of Sabahan,being polite,helpful and generous(Even if it means driving up the pedestrian walkway to make way for ambulance)

With lost of most of my "me-time",i have seen myself better.

With all those moments of life and death,it made me realize "you never know what will happen when the next second comes".

With alteration of my physiology after going into accident and emergency department,i have seen some really interesting cases..(eg a small thread like worm sticking on my gloved finger after per rectal examination,a man walked in with creatinine level of 2817,rat as big as a cat bitten a 2 year old child,how a jelly fish can sting....)

I am just grateful for who and where i am.........Life truely can be beautiful!

How To Save A Life-The Fray

2010-10-04T19:04:00.003+08:00

This song always reminded me of the ones i've lost,of those regrets ,and of those moments where i dont dare to relive...I am just glad i am here,and all that are still with me....thank you :).It's is October again,and i just wana say i missed you !

Step one you said we need to talk

He walks you said sit down it's just a talk

He smiles politely back at you

You stare politely right on through

Some sort of window to your right

As he goes left you stay right

Between the line of fear and blame

You begin to wonder why you came

Where did i go wrong,i lost a friend

Somewhere along the bitterness

And i would stayed up with you all night

Had i known how to save a life

Holiday....where are you??

2010-09-24T21:22:00.004+08:00

I cant wait to go on my holiday....days are getting a bit routine...but i made some new friends,gain lots of new experince,and finally found a posting which i fell in love with....still........i want holiday...............

I just have to say it

2010-09-15T17:41:00.003+08:00

Power,authority corrupts people.Meeting a few of the seniors SP recently really reflect how true is the statement.

When they are in a higher authority and can manipulate things according to their wishes,it doesnt matter how it will affect others,the most important thing is wether they like it or not,regardless it is right or wrong.

When there's acheivement,when there's success,yes ,we must let the world know about it!Creating a fan club and forcing people to like it,wow....

When there's conflict in between departments,let just involve the HO in it,the more the merrier right?

The statement"houseman nowadays is a protected species,even SP afraid of letter of complaint by houseman to the DG" I was thinking:"If a good senior SP who knows how to teach well,doesnt really give a damn wether they are being complaint or not,because they are such excellent and sincere teachers."

Another statement who shocked me the most:"selectively we teach the housemans,only those who shows interest"Again thoughts are running in my head:"please say the things tht you do in reality,god please help us".

Im not a super best HO among the bunch,but seeing and listening to these kind of things,really made me wana laugh ,it's this the level we are at?

I am so sorry...

2010-09-11T15:36:00.004+08:00

Life is so unpredictable,so is disease progression.Life always give me a lesson that i may never forget for the rest of my life.And people say im a Jonah now...Maybe i am

It happen within minutes....He was talking fine to me in high dependency unit minutes ago after the morning blood taking,suddenly collapsed and unresponsive the other minute.While doing the CPR,bagging the patient,my heart was racing.

"What went wrong?"

"Why a minute ago you were perfectly fine,now your pupils are fixed and dilated?"

"Why has you heart stopped beating ?"

"Are we missing something here?"

I tried to intubate but to no avail,i've called for help,i've given adrenaline,bagging and CPR....What else can i do???........

Eventually thing sorted out when help came.Difficult intubation but in the end he was more stable.

I cannot meet the gaze of her wife when i left HDU.

I cannot bear seeing the teary face of a 50's old lady,who wondering what had become of her beloved....

I cannot imagine her feeling of insecurity and worriness,of losing a person who been sharing years and years of love and companionship.

While walking out from the hospital,it was another beautiful day with clear sky and bright sunshine.Inside my mind was a different story...

Plan

2010-09-06T18:39:00.003+08:00

Lesson kept on repeating,no matter how well you planned for the future,it may not always go accordingly...well....who cares,happiness matters right?

Escapism

2010-08-13T22:36:00.003+08:00

May i just have one whole day to myself,without people asking anything from me?

It's childish i know,but i dont care.

and sometimes i cant just always be a bigger person,like you hope me to be.

Im just like everybody else

Who just get tired of everything once in awhile.

Busy busy busy....

2010-08-07T22:15:00.002+08:00

This has been the most frequent word that comes into my mind recently.Been in medical "chronic" ward but all problems are so acute.

One incident,a patient in his 40's came in with 1 months history of shortness of breath and severe lost of weight.History of operation done under ENT(oncology) ,?NPC(scar at posterior auricular area)...No significant history of TB noted.

Patient was very breathless,:''doctor,tolong aku..."

The Blood pressure lowish(90/50),the radial pulse was barely palpable,hmm,i thought,run fluid!Oxygen high flow....

Chest bilateral decreased air entry with crepitation and dullness."Ok,really bad case of TB???"Heart sounds were soft.

Chest radiograph:bilateral lung effusion and a very huge heart.

"hmm....acute pulmonary oedema also???"

Me on the phone:"Hi doctor,it's lee from male ward,we just had a admission ,patient was very breathless,lowish BP,not very stable.""OK,i'll come and see later."

After 15 minutes....no sign of MO.

Mr Pharmacy(who can be a better houseman):"better be careful of this patient,looks like going to collapse anytime"

Me:panic again.

Then the Heroes of the day were sighted(respiratory team)

Dr A and R:"any respi cases?"

"dr,can you help us with this case"

Seen everything,hear every history,The chest X Ray:"GLOBULAR heart".

"Have you felt the apex beat?"

Me:err...nope,but heart sound really soft and pulses barely palpable"

"Let's scan the heart"

What do you think is the diagnosis??? I swear to myself i will never missed this again!!!

Frustrations...

2010-07-07T18:21:00.000+08:00

This is how i felt today...

Frustrated because i cannot do much to help

Frustrated because i know something is wrong but i am powerless

Frustrated because not everyone is being treated fairly

Frustrated because seeing selfish people being praised

Frustrated because why everything is wrong???

Frustrated because do you really meant what you said???

sigh....

Laziness...

2010-07-05T18:51:00.003+08:00

This is how i feel nowadays.....plus some mixed feelings of enjoyment and guiltiness....I hope i dont get Karma because of this....:P

A lot went by

2010-06-27T10:00:00.003+08:00

Laptop had now officially not functioning.Been begging people to let me use their laptop for a brief moment of sanity.

Finished OBGY,that was a relief.I guess it was a posting that want to squeeze every last drop of blood out of me...

Had an extremely nice holiday with SJ/KY/Sj's sisters...It was way too short though...

Hoping a friend will be well soon,which i know he will.

Hoping another friend will be well soon too...

In a whole new posting which i possibly wanting to venture deeper in the future,i hope i have found the one....

Too many events,too many emotions....probably best left unspoken...

Take care guys!

Thank you

2010-05-31T08:40:00.004+08:00

Didnt expect anything

Plus the little bit of awkardness,poker face,I LOVE NY,music of Os fully playin

and the birthday song sang by that somebody

that will forever linger in my head ...LOL...

Thank you very much

Memorable,indeed.

MOvies FrEnzy......

2010-05-28T13:24:00.002+08:00

Im out of control....watched so many in a few days....

"Valentine"-Being in love is such a blessing...Sometimes to be in love requires a lot of courage.

"Clash of the Titans"-Being a semi-god with good looks/physiques is filled with privillages....

"How to train a Dragon"-I want a dragon,stat!!!

"Iron Man 2"-Power and wealth corrupt people.Only perserverence will keep life going....

"Solomon Kane"-Im not that religious after all....

"Dear John"-Love can be expressed in different ways....

There's more to come.........:)

Drops of Jupiter

2010-05-16T20:05:00.002+08:00

Now that she’s back in the atmosphere
With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey, hey, hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there’s time to change, hey, hey, hey, hey
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey, hey, heyhey, hey, hey, hey
Tell me did you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated
Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

Now that she’s back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey, heymmmm.....
She checks out Mozart while she does tae-bo
Reminds me that there’s room to grow, hey, hey, hey, heyyea...
Now that she’s back in the atmosphere
I’m afraid that she might think of me as plain ol jane
Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land
Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the milky way
And tell me, did Venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you, even when I know you’re wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phoneConversation
The best soy latte that you ever had . . .
and me

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back toward the milky way
Tell me did you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated
Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself
nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah
And did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
nah nah nah nah nah nahnah nah nah nah nah nah
And did you fall for a shooting star
Fall for a shooting star
nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah
Are you loney looking for yourself out there

Terrible week...

2010-05-13T20:40:00.002+08:00

I had a really terrible week.These are the time where i really feel like going home and just sleep on the couch and do nothing.....i think i should go home again....i really had enough of bloody scenarios ....even my Operation Theater pants was soaked with patient's blood....Yes,i need a break...

Excuses

2010-05-12T20:32:00.000+08:00

Excuses…
Can you just stop
To give excuses
Excuses for your mistakes
Excuses for not doing things properly
Excuses for saving your own as#
Excuses for being such an as#
Excuses for waking up late
Excuses for not exercising enough
Excuses for not sensitive enough
Excuses for procrastinating
Excuses for people hating you
Excuses for hating people
Excuses for being who you are
Excuses for being who others want you to be
Wouldn’t it be easier
When we start to give fewer excuses
but start to be honest to ourselves
When are we going to live life, when life itself is filled with excuses?

Random Ramblings

2010-05-02T14:17:00.002+08:00

Not all the time we are satisfied with what we have, with what environment we are living in. There are people that just don’t make any sense, and there are just scenarios that are just unbelievable. Living here and receiving training in where I am, showed me more than I intended to see.

Everything has a limitation to it. No matter how advanced knowledge there is up to date,you just need to try your best with what you have. Because in the end of the day you just want what is the best for the patients. Perhaps sometime the effort seems futile, wasted, inevitably I felt frustrated by the outcome. Perhaps I just didn’t see the other positive side of it. Perhaps it may become worse.

Tireness is unavoidable. Physically and mentally.im trying to accept the flawed part every other things(but always ended up getting agitated and fouled mouthed about it).Perhaps looking at the imperfect part of myself, accepting and correcting it would help me accepting others. Now and then how I wish and this world is less complicated, diseases wise(Dr would be out of job) and human relation. There’s a saying that imperfections made the world perfect, occasionally it is true if you can live with it.

I must let myself to trust others, but past had thought me well. Trust is not something to be given easily. It’s the same with respect. It is something you just have to earn from others. Working life, these two aspects are so vital.

Somebody told me, :”You only live young once, why not live more by loving more…”Depends on how you interpret it, it comes in different meaning. Happiness doesn’t come easy, so it’s the chance to love. Maybe I have long forgotten how it is feel .There are people can begin and end one after another,I wonder how they actually feel inside…

How I wish everything is much simpler.

To my horror.......

2010-04-24T00:22:00.003+08:00

2 hours plus of driving from Keningau to Kota Kinabalu...it was really draining.Luckily my collection of songs were there to lessen the agony.It was misty,winding road with lots of slow moving trucks as obstacle.Missing a turn cost me 30 minutes of extra detour....sigh....

After reaching the house,i quickly went up my room to clear things up.To my horror...this was what i saw...

What a welcoming gift back to KK.But the positve side i wasnt fortunate enough to be hit by the falling ceiling.Plus my nice housemates helped me clean my room and the mess....Water leakage,sometimes shit really falls from above....

Sometimes just out of nowhere...

2010-04-15T19:21:00.002+08:00

Scenarios in life where i had verbal constipation:

Senior medical personnel(SMP):Saya mau buat transvaginal ultrasound,Lee,get me an ultrasound condom

Me:err...wait ar....(fumbling over the small red box took some time but finally found one)

SMP:Bibi(a nurse),mana mungkin tiada kan?

Me: (Being looked at by the smp)..

SMP:kita kan sudah banyak Dr lelaki,entahlah siapa yang menghabiskan...(ended with a grin)

Me:(stunned,im innocent,i wont use a condom meant for ultrasound anyway,should i just laugh?)

then,Me: laughed,Er,Dr,what is that structure over there...ne...over there...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(This happen in OT-different SMP)

SMP:Lee ,how old are you?

Me:er,i was borned year 85,so now is 25 yr old

SMP:Oh,but you have eyes of an 18 years old....

Me:(stunned,gave out an awkward laugh)

later in OT:

SMP:So Lee,what about your love story?

Me:(Ultimately stunned,should i tell all my untold tales right here,right now in OT?)

then,Me:Im just unfortunately single....

SMP:oh......i c...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(During rounds in a different place and time)

Nurse:DR! bila sampai masa DR untuk couple-couple?Tengok,si XX ni kan ada...

Si XX:(awkward laugh)

Me:(Continued my scribbles and yet another awkward smile)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DOing Oncal,Conversation with a self bloating person-V:

Me:Hey what are you doing back here?

V:No la,no particular reason

V:How are u all doing here ?ok?

Me:initially bad,but now ok lo,wrong start with the mo

V:Why u didnt asked me how to do ward round?I created the system mah.

Me:oh...ok...

V:you know,all four of us previously scored the highest mark in the asessment,you all should not let our HOD down.

Me:(cough)How much you all scored?

V:i scored 80+,in viva thay didnt even asked me any question.they just said,how r you har,than ask me to go out.

V:Plus my ultrasound skill is so good now,i can even scan twin pregnancy,those not here cant even scan properly...

Me:(WTH)...ok...

V:The mo just love me because im so can function as a MO.....

Me: (Stunned again,is all these excessive self praise,or what?)

It dragged on and on and on...oh god please save me..........................

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sometimes i just blamed myself for not being able to handle the conversation/people like this better.For the last conversation,probably it was really a bad day to oncall ....How would you reply /handle this?? :)

I just cant stop the beat....

2010-04-09T19:34:00.005+08:00

I meant my extra vigorous heart beat=palpitation...

Recently i kept having this palpitation plus adrenalin rush,here's why:

1)Delivering a set of twin,1st fetus cephalic,2nd breech.(the 2nd twin probably delivered himself).

2)Doing my evacuation of retained product of conception(afraid puncturing the uterus every minute i currete)

3)Doing my 1st caesarean section(with a great help from my Mo's of course---anything can go wrong)

4)Seeing things that soothes the eyes...(Ding and iron woman should know what i meant,ha!)

5)When mothers having poor maternal effort

6)Or they are screaming their heads out while wanting their baby's head to get out from the vagina

7)Seeing a humangous haematoma on the vagina...8x9cm,my goodness(must suture perineal tear and episiotomy wound meticulously !!!!!)

8)Going to Stadium Keningau which seems a bit creepy (the male toilet part),but the pool was OK.

Life is interesting when there's reason for your heart to work harder...:)

Peaceful day in Keningau...

2010-04-08T16:31:00.002+08:00

Occasionally i do need some time off from from hospital..and today was the day.People asked me :"what you wana do la with the one day off in Keningau."

Probably just drifting away into sleep,and just enjoy the time being away...

Yes,some alone time it's good for the soul...

It's not all sugar and honey in Keningau ...

2010-04-04T23:15:00.002+08:00

Since the begining started with the wrong foot.Being compared to the previous "excellent" four put even more strain on the 4 newbies who knew nothing about the computerized system here.Yes,less patient,but when the in-charged MOs is not happy,life can get tough.

It's not the reason of laziness or stupidity,the problem would be organization and human relation.Yes,being a DR can be a sucky job when most of the time rapport with people comes into play...especially to survive in a whole new place...The so called the first impression...

The brighter side,less houseman,less competition in doing procedure.More focused on learning...more 1 to 1 exposure and more weird2 cases and ghost stories...Starting my oncall tomorrow...

Will try my best...not to be discouraged,but to gain something from all of this...As the saying goes:"things happen for a purpose....."

People i wana avoid in life...

2010-03-26T08:06:00.002+08:00

People who likes to take advantage of others,especially during working times...

People who always think they are right,and the whole world revolves around them...

People who will do what they can to get want they want,regardless of how friends might think of them...

People who are lazy in doing work,avoiding task and pushing responsability to others...

People who thinks they are funny and cute,but actually it is making people sick...

I am "fortunate" enough to meet her when started working in sabah,and truely it came with a whole package.Enough is enough i say to myself,and it doesnt worth my time and energy to let this kind of people disturbing my life.Please stay far far away from me....

I am a Keningau Boy!

2010-03-23T21:46:00.004+08:00

For the next two months i will be posted to district Hospital Keningau ...it's going to be a whole new adventure!!huhu!!

It was announced officially and letter was issued to us who were involved...I am very hopeful of this new unexplored teritory....:)

Only the lucky 4 were choosen,and i am one of them....:)

One of those oncalls that you just have to write about...

2010-03-20T16:56:00.003+08:00

The OBGY experince i got so far is truely out of this world.

First time oncall in labor room,one would really hope it was uneventful and everything go smoothly.

A lady came in with Gravida 2 Para 0+1(her second pregnancy but first pregnancy miscarriaged),os was 6 cm.Cardiotocograph(like a ecg for fetus) doesnt looked good.I enthusiaticly went to attend the patient.

Left lateral position,oxygen,hydration....at last i wanted to drain out the urine.

I was searching the urethra hole,and my eyes were really focused,vision and distance of my head from the target was ...hmm...half a meter apart...then i found it.With a PPK as a chaperon,i inserted the drain.Not even 1/3 in,my patient told me:" Dr,saya rasa mau berak la!"

I looked at the patient:"huh?masih awal lagi la puan..."

The next thing i knew,the drain suddenly flew out.A fountain of golden urination flashed by in front of me...Recall back the distance,my head was within the range,and the next thing i knew,my specticle got spots of urine,i think my hair got some drops on it too...i think my expression at tht time was priceless.My diligent PPK was laughing her hearts out,and so were the nurses at labor room...

My friends told me OBGY and liqour(amniotic fluid) is inseperable,one would have the privillege to be touch by it sometime at unwanted places.But this time i wana add in the list,urine also....

My 1st working day in OBGY

2010-03-10T21:55:00.003+08:00

Today was the official working day in OBGY,PAC is the first line where all obstetric admission came in.I am currently working with a bunch of nice people,making my day bearable.Since morning the admission came in with a constant flow,whn most of the drama happen to the patients i've touched...

1st dramatic patient,came in with labor pain,not enough months(prematurity,many children before),i was busy setting line and taking blood,just started to interview when my dependable nurse told me:"DR!patient macam sedang teran la!"Immediate vaginal examination,baby's tip of the head was already visible...Pushing the mother like mad with my nurse to the labor room,passing over the case to my colleagues in LR...it happen like within a few minutes...Soon after tranfered bed,the baby popped out,in the end the baby looked termed,probably it was wrong date....i heaved a sigh of relief....

After 30 minutes, 2nd patient( 10 children before),came in with labor pain.Again the same scene:"Dr!patient macam mau teran la!"I ran and checked placenta was not low lying(vaginal examination can cause bleeding if low lying placenta was injured).The nurse did VE at once,again,baby's head is coming out."Hantar labor room sekarang!!".when we wanted to tranfer patient on to another bed in LR,she said:"Nurse,saya rasa macam mau berak!.''.When we open the blanket,the newborn baby was already shaking her hands and crying vigorously ...The nurse and i was shocked but had a good laugh later...

Both patients delivered uneventfully...It was sure a busy day,but it did ended with some new invigorating experince...:)

OBGY=OMG

2010-02-27T23:04:00.002+08:00

Tired is the only word i can think of.Probably the transition was difficult...sigh,will the days of freely swimming in swimming pool ever return to me....will the days of holding my PS2 controller ever get near....There's still a long way to go,a lot of blood,a lot of new thing s to be explored,and a lot of being shouted at experince....1st day of tagging,i was already hit by a paper ball because of some other people's mistake.(Thrown by the most famous OBGY mo in my hospital)

I hope i can just finish this soon...

Kudat Road Trip

2010-02-21T23:25:00.004+08:00

Today,muscle pain,joint pain and sun burn,did not deter our spirit into making use of the days before joining OBGY department.We went for a Kudat 1 day road trip.It was time consuming,but the scenary in Tip Of Borneo(Simpang Mengayau) was the highlight of the day.Other bonuses we stumbled accidentally(making wrong turns and venturing into the deep deep deep.....part of the jungle) was the Pantai Kelambu beach.It is a beach not fully comercialized,which still perserve it's natural beauty.So far in my experince,i have never come across a beach that is so clean .I regretted i did not bring my swimming trunks!!!

We went to Rungus long house which i personally think doesnt worth the RM 3 entrance fee and Honey Bee farm located not far from the village before going to search for Tip Of Borneo.I would recommend the Tip Of Borneo and Pantai Kelambu to anyone,but try and wait for the sunset in Tip Of Borneo.(We couldn't because the drive back would be treacherous with no street lights,cows and unfamiliar roads)

This was a very memorable and nice road trip :)

Padas White Water Rafting

2010-02-21T22:42:00.005+08:00

After returning to Sabah,the wisest thing to get myself adjusted is to go on trips!!!The first day i went for white water rafting in Padas.The journey was "goyang goyang"(travel via old train running through the jungle on rocky old tracks),the guides were hilarious,though the river was stingy for giving adrenalin rush.Due to the dry season,the rapids were a dissapointment.Another drag were the 3 princess from china who were on the same boat with me and pian2.(The rest of the gang was on another boat )..We were their loyal servants who paddled hard so that they could enjoy the river sight seeing.Luckily the guides helped us to paddle faster.Swimming and "water fighting' between other boats were the enjoying part instead .We vowed to return on the month of June to challenge Padas river again.

The way home+CNY+ Sentosa Island night trip

2010-02-19T20:21:00.003+08:00

I went home ,carried with me the excitement and happiness that finally i can get a break .I got a good seat this time,near the wings of the aeroplane,the clouds really looked like cotton candy...the food in aeroplane was terrible though,partially cooked rice.... -_-"

Walking back in the dining halls of 6th college,as if it was still yesteday i was sitting there complaining about the food.The pekan buku had been shifted.Saw familiar faces,saw some of my buddies.It's their turn to become final years soon,i felt so old suddenly,even though it was only 8 months since i started working.Time really passes when i whine a lot :)

Petaling street is still as busy and noisy as ever.Treat my buddy Nando's as a token of gratitude for helping me taking the books from esther.The stares of shop vendors in petaling street was still very unwelcoming.Never the less,just wana re-experince the city that i left behind for awhile ....

At home,father and mother already half asleep.As expected,they cooked my favourite soup....A small gesture can sometime means a lot...:)

The next day our whole family went to johor to celebrate CNY with my sister.Went to temple to pray for a roaring year....Went to eat vegetarian food in another semi temple/semi old folks home...Spend priceless time talking,eating and complaining together with my family.A dose of family time really boost me up.I felt i can conquer the world again...haha

My parents and brother's family went back early while i stayed on.I visited my sis's husband side relatives.Had a great time joining their activities...fireworks,lanterns(kong ming deng)...nice!

The day before i came back Sabah,we visited Sentosa Island.Hmm...the casino was quite a huge compound,with lots of extra features compare to our Genting's casino.Sigh,another casino means potential rise of social problem for the country,even though it's in our neigbouring country...

i left semenanjung with lots of food stuff inside my hand carried bag...nearly missed the flight though...the thought of when i will be coming back kept linger in my head through out the journey...haha

I love going home.............

Semenanjung I am going HOME!!!

2010-02-11T20:13:00.003+08:00

Yeah,it's one of those night before flying back home post.Cant helped it,just had to type something.This time it's for the one whole week ...feel like i have tons of things to do.Feel like it's been ages since i last saw my father and mother...Even the morning air scent back at home is being "miss" by me...

Im seriously going to fully utilize this great escape to catch up with my family and friends.In the end,a little distance is what you need to claerly see what really matters the most.It's time to pack my bag and ready to go...:)

Before i forget... wish everybody Happy Chinese New Year and happy holiday!!!(if wilson is reading:I might kacau u in johor/singapore...ha...)

Im going to be a good boy...

2010-02-07T09:39:00.002+08:00

Yesterday i was shocked with a very sad news...3 housemans passed away and 1 still in critical care while 20 over sustained fractures and dislocations due to road traffic accident...It was such a great lost to everyone and to the country...

While waiting outside the mortuary yesterday to pay last respect to them,so many people came.Even specialist and head of departments plus MOs were there.It made me think,life really is too short and unpredictable,so many things can happen in a blink of an eye...My homesickness became more severe since yesterday and my heart ache for the family lost...

So...im counting the days to go back home....sigh...i missed them so much...and i promised myself that never to mix these two things=drink and drive

Death...Departure...Seperation

2010-01-22T20:52:00.003+08:00

Different words but somehow they carry the same meaning...Watching patient on the verge of catching their last breath while every last effort is being made...watching my fighting fishes remained static in the fish tank corner..and belly upside down after a few days,watching my morning glory slowly deafeated by infestation of unknown whittish parasite...

Life can be so wonderful,creating smiles and happiness.On the other extreme it is so fragile,bringing sorrow and regret ,what may happen the next moment is unpredictable...

Im surrounded by death,every second the scythe of death god might hit somewhere.The next thing i know it might be the last time i spoke to my patient.

We are responsible for so many things,and it is our duty to do our job well.Sense of caring and feeling empathy to patients are so important.

Im learning,and i will try my best.

Money matters...

2010-01-11T22:28:00.002+08:00

It's been troubling me quite some time...especially when it comes to this word,money...people around me seems to find ways to earn more money...joining direct sale,loaning money from bank to pay off debt and the extra loan money put into investment...etc etc...

The large sum of money(loan from PTPTN) really hard to spit back out...sigh...rather than letting the leech suck all my blood dry,one episode of massive bleeding maybe would suffice...But suddenly become RM36 K poorer is such pain to bear with...huhu....People,do not accept PTPTN!!!It is not a loan to helped students,but instead bring burden and inconvenience to people like you and me...

Brief conversation with our Director General of Health

2010-01-09T11:48:00.004+08:00

Yesterday our hospital was in a state of alert,because our director of health was visiting our Queen Elizabeth Hospital II(previously called Sabah Medical Center)

Everyone was anxious with his sudden arrival and when the matron signal us the houseman to follow his "round"...i gingerly trail along.He noticed Annie,HS and I standing outside one of the cubicle and came up to us..He asked me:"Are you happy here?"

Many many pairs of eyes were staring at me...In a reflex i answered eagerly:"Happy,happy..."
Next he was looking for Mr N,our Head of department,which we later frantically called his phone...

Afterwards the question that he asked still linger in my head...Am i happy here?

Today i met the biggest bit** in the ward!

2009-12-28T21:01:00.003+08:00

Yup,it's an angry post.Started off the work day noticing the nurses didnt take vital signs.When enquire the patients further,this is their reply:"mereka hanya ambil tekanan sahaja"----First shit of the day.

Then, came a great nurse who came in my cubicle and gave a sarcastic comment and rude remarks on me,who opened and inspected the wound of patient for superficial skin graft planned later evening.-----Second shit of the day

The sister who was busy chit-chatting with patient caught my attention,expressed my dissatisfaction to her.Which again a lot of cover up was done.Her shocking statement:"yeah,saya ada pantau,bila saya takada mereka berani buat.Ada nurse yang telah direject sent ke sini ba.Dan Dr kena faham kita understaff ba,malam-malam 1-2 orang sahaja yang kerja"wow,a great reason for not doing your job,understaff.-----Third shit of the day

Highlight of the day---Talked to Surg houseman to inform an ortho case which was done together with surg team,and for them to review and wether to off CBD(continuos bladder drainage---tube for passing urine,insert into urethra and reaching bladder) as patient haematuria(Patient had extensive ulcer which involed medial thigh and scrotum,afraid CBD was part of surg team management).That particular surg ho was uninterested and rude.I got frustrated and just walked off after the Ho said she will inform their MO to review later,with a "but"---with her rude tone she was saying:"im not sure when will my MO or specialist will come.Just a few seconds later i was hearing her shrill voice,with another man who seems like a MO,came up to me and the MO asked me:"why u were so rude to my HO""We as Dr must speak professionally""It's this how you refer cases?"----Fourth shit of the day.

Later of the day,suddenly one of the nurse inform me that one of the case for emergency wound washout was not posted,but the name on the list.Flipped back the case note,it was again that fellow Ortho Ho who never do work properly,never document properly,and never posted that case.In a frenzy i took the blood,traced it and called GA urgently ,but was rejected because too many pending emergency cases.-----Fifth shit of the day

Lessons learned today:
1)Never fully trust what you see(esp on chart boards),but trust your patient,most of the time they dont lie.

2)Be honest with yourself and others,making excuses for other people incompetencies is just sad.

3)Beware of a combination of pretty Surg Ho(esp tht particular one) and a GUY MO beside her.Because even when you are just doing your job and making sure other people are doing their part,shit will just get thrown to you.Maybe pretty female HO just really get the extra attention(used to have this conversation with Celery).

4)There are people who appear they are doing their work,but actually is the most LAZIEST person in the ward.Even though 4th poster,act like MO,but even a first poster works better.

Conclusion:
One of the shittiest day ever,and tomorrow is going to be a long day(assissting Trauma operation theater)....better vent it all out now and get a good night sleep.

Xmast 2009

2009-12-26T00:33:00.009+08:00

REAL ginger bread house...where to start where to start biting...

My waffle with all the flavours (favourite:dark cherry and manggo)

Deserts deserts....ohoho...

Extra pairs of hands behind...

Xmast= great +plenty of food,great choir,great wine,and great company

Xmast= time for celebration,time to get together and time to think about family and friends.

This is how i celebrate Xmast this year....:).HAPPY HOLIDAYS and merry Xmast!

No pain no gain?

2009-12-17T00:44:00.002+08:00

Pain: Got bad haircut and bad comments for it(eg:hair eaten by rat?i cut my own hair???)
Gain: Know which shop to avoid in One Borneo,KK,Sabah

Pain: Waiting like ages for MO to do a skeletal traction on a 60 years old lady
Gain: Steinman pin if drilled with a handrill is actually less painful(must use tht next time if got chance)

Pain: Seeing a nail that was nearly cut off being sewn back to the finger
Gain: Avulse the nail,avulse it.........

Pain: Helping out with counter traction of hip dislocation,which obviously i was not cut out for
Gain: Know my limitation,swim more to built on that tiny muscles....-_-"

Pain: Sitting in a cinema with no air condition.
Gain: Watched an excellent,stunning,and brilliant movie (Avatar)which worth the pain of going through 2 and a half hours of stuffy air,urine smelled stairway and spooky parking lot.

Pain: Getting more and more broke with all the "extracuricular" activities
Gain: Getting to know friends better,enjoyed good meals,living my life at least...

Note to self:
1)Seriously,no pain no gain in life is so true.
2)Found some similarities between new friends and old friends,really missed my old friends,and grateful for new friends....

Im not crazy im just a litlle bit unwell...

2009-12-14T14:29:00.002+08:00

Went to casualty today and skipped worked due to episodes of purging(from behind of course)...At first was thinking of going to work later,but thinking wanting to go toilet every hour and in search of a "proper" toilet,i would rather just take an EL.Perhaps yesterday i should have never went out...got a weird haircut,ate things which i thought were delicious(but poisoinous),and now losing water out from my body....sooner or later will become dried vegetable...

Life lately is just colourless(pls dun think of colour of the purged..),bored bored bored....Japanese Anime made my days bearable and something to look forward to everyday.Somehow i lost the sense of purpose,and i am not sure why....definately not work related(because most part of ortho are just made complainable)...sigh...someone told me i should get a girlfriend...*cough cough*.I told them i would rather become a monk and knock on wooden fish for the rest of my life...

Hmm...at least they are doing all right :)

Hypocrisy or hippocrates???

2009-12-01T20:10:00.002+08:00

SP:Why?Why? why call me after working hours?

HO:Erm,sorry,i have a problem to consult dr

SP:What is it??

HO:Patient blood culture grew MRSA positive,and the culture was on 24/11,i already referred ID team.They suggested to start IV Vanco.

SP:What!Why u wana keep patient in the ward for 6 more weeks for antibiotic?He's on haemodialysis right?Dont do anything for him.Keep quiet!After MRI we can discharge him already.

HO:.....

The Ho was dumbfounded,confused and speechless,plus dissapointed.Is medical care has become fast food type of service where everything must be done fast,complicated cases is just a pure nuisance?Or those who suppose to teach us to become DR are teaching us to see things and do things their way?

Hmm...maybe a lowly Ho,who knows nothing should just keep silent,build a cocoon and just change the colour of the sky when the time comes...Sometimes i wonder,when all the accusation and complaint was made towards HOs,are the more seniors one looked into the mirror lately,or they just see what they want to see...i wonder....

1st bloom

2009-11-25T20:14:00.003+08:00

After 1 month plus of waiting,watering and deweeding,finally got my first morning glory...

From 20 over seeds,6 budding small plants,3 eaten by snails,1 having growth delay,2 finally made it up the wall and still growing strong.

I have another pet from Kundasang ,from a shape of a "thumbs up" now suffering from mallet finger already...or does it looked like something else...-_-"

When days are rainy and wet....

2009-11-15T15:36:00.002+08:00

It was finally the day to Karambunai beach....but it rained ...so grey and gloommy....wet and bored....my fellow beachmates to be were dissapointed too....and overdampness may cause my cactus to rot...sigh...trapped inside the house with nothing better to do but to bit** about the weather...pathetic...

It's a gloomy day indeed,i just learned that one of my patient back in paeds passed away...maybe that's why it rained...:(

Hopefully the sun will shine brightly next weekend...

A Law Abiding Citizen

2009-10-31T22:12:00.002+08:00

Went and watched this movie in 1Borneo today with a bunch of colleagues.It was not my first choice but it turned out to be a great movie.Gerard Butler and Jamie Fox really made the movie stands out among so many movies i watched.Great effects,great details and a movie with a deeper meaning even though filled with gruesome and "explosive" scene.My favourite scene would be the judge,Laura Burch...very unexpected and made me jump from my seat....:)...a movie worth the time

A memorable ending means another hopeful beginning

2009-10-24T20:10:00.000+08:00

Finally my paediatric posting came to an end.Today officially start the day as orthopaedic houseman(tagging again that it).

Even though coming to ortho may come as a huge relief ,i still feel that the hard times in paeds really was worth the sweat and tears.Getting to know new people and learning from them really put my view on life in a new perspective.Probably it was the best thing that could happen to start off with paeds.I cant thank all the people in paeds enough for helping and guiding along the way.

Im trying to keep myself in a positive light,yes...orthopaedic would be a very nice posting as interposting between paeds and OBGY....im crossing my fingers...:)

(photo= sunset view outside my room window)

The reason why i fell in love with Sabah...

2009-10-22T17:39:00.012+08:00

It's all the nice places Sabah has to offer...went on another one day trip with Pian2 and Zuba.This time is Kundasang...It's a 2 hours drive from Luyang,and seriously the road is not easy to go,up and down plus very winding road.The reward for overcoming such a treacherous drive was worthwhile...and the scenary was as breathtaking as i imagined...

The first stop we made before reaching Kundasang was Pekan Nabalu...it was like a market place which has a nice view over Mt Kinabalu...Here i found out Zuba favourite fruit was pisang...which she eager went to look for soon after we got off the carHave you ever seen such an enormous pineapple???(It was just a fake pineapple,:P)

There is a high tower for shooting photos...Mt Kinabalu,i will conquer you one day...bwahaha...

Next we reached Kundasang after nearly 2 hours of drive...Kundasang War Memorial was our second stop.It was a place to comemorate prisoners of wars from Australia and Britain who died during the "March of Death" from Ranau to Sandakan during Japanese occupation in Malaya.It was a scenic place with gardens and flowers,flowers,flowers...
Tried Hutan Durian also,smaller size and more orangy in colour,not as tasty as the usual durian though.
My little Myvi worked hard to bring us up the hill to the last destination of the day,Desa Dairy Farm.Seriously i really had the feeling of being in New Zealand(the good old Fernleaf milk advertisement)...the rumor was true after all...But the damn thing was my camera's battery died before i got a chance to catch some more photos....-_-"
The cows were visible as specks here...lousy phone camera...sigh....Overall we spent about nearly half a day there,reached home about 4pm in the afternoon...Kundasang...another great place to be...:)

Spontaneous island trip

2009-10-18T21:14:00.004+08:00

Finally today i managed to have a one day trip to Pulau Manukan,plus Pulau Memutik and Pulau Sapi....It was such a joyful and relaxing trip with my colleagues Cece and Shorty.Though it was really a spontaneous and last minutes thingy,but it was really enjoyable .

Beaches here in Sabah is definately cleaner and more scenic.But snorkling.. .hmm...Redang is still the best place to be.Tried my first Parasailing...omg,i seriously enjoyed flying in the air,the air blowing softly on my face and the sensation of looking down at the sea from above...it was as i imagined ....There were also plenty of tourists around were a plus.....hehe...

Since the islands are so near to Kota Kinabalu,a half day trip was already enough...hmm...i loved the sun,the sea breeze and everything about the islands....

Hishamudin also visited Jesselton point(harbour to go to the islands) today.His arrival in the evening caused a big fuss at the area.......but the food in Nasi Padang Restaurant caught my attention more...:)

I had a dream

2009-10-14T16:39:00.002+08:00

Had a very weird dream this morning...i was again back in my school days,but the funny thing is my classmates were mixed from primary school,secondary school and my um coursemates...it was weird to see them all together...but then it shows how i missed those days ,i rememeber "golum" and "moutain" vividly in my dream,chatting away like they usually do.There was these someone from primary school and secondary school that i have never seen for so long...haha...at least i see them in my dream.....i was woken up with a even weird ending to the dream,there was a killer or lunatic who suddenly went in to the school and trying to defibrillate everyone....it was chaotic and all my classmates were trying to save each other...when i woken up my head was stuff in between my pillows....hmm...asphyxiation gives bad dream i guess...

The Red Tide

2009-09-18T21:50:00.003+08:00

That day after a meal of seafood,had vomitting plus diarrhea,though it was red tide(seafood induced).But later i think it was just a pure food poisoning....

reference taken from UMS website

Harmful algal blooms in Malaysia occur only in the South China Sea in the coastal waters of west Sabah, where the causative organism is the dinoflagellate, Pyrodinium bahamense var. compressum.

Blooms occur periodically every year, when the dinoflagellate produces paralytic shellfish toxins (PSP) in shellfish, eventuating symptoms of paralyses and deaths in humans since 1976.

An increase in nutrients (mainly NO3-N and PO4-P) concentrations in the water which occurred after rainfall episodes were found to initiate blooms of Pyrodinium bahamense var. compressum, however continuous rainfall did not sustain the blooms due to a decrease in the salinity of the water.

Monitoring of paralytic shellfish toxins (PSP) is carried out by the Fisheries Department Sabah and is based on shellfish samples collected in the infested area using the mouse-bioassay technique of toxin analyses. Often the detection of the toxin in the shellfish occurs long after the bloom of the dinoflagellate in the plankton. There have also been reports of PSP poisoning occurring even when cell densities of the dinoflagellate are low.

Seafood mania

2009-09-16T21:58:00.003+08:00

Today was another turbulant day in ward,just wana get over it and move on...Went back home and had one hour of nap,then woken up by SE,SEAFOOD!!!!!!!!

Suppose to go Tg Aru,but then it rain like cats and dogs....sleeping was a great option for analgesia....

The road to Gayang restaurant was a bit ulu,but then the food awaiting were unimaginable.Cheap and superb in taste.Not to mention the size of the prawns,fishes,and other varieties of seafood that i never seen before.....

Glad all of us enjoyed the meal...and HK is leaving us tomorrow,now our house will have less people....with house as spacious as this sure will double the emptiness...Just wish him all the best....and i am impressed with his courage...

In September

2009-09-12T19:35:00.006+08:00

All the things I still remember

Summers never looked the same

Years go by and time just seems to fly

But the memories remain

While driving back after my evening swim,listening this new song-September from Daughtry,brings back tons of memories....though it may in the begining of everything new,looking back all the things that i left behind....cant help but wanting to turn back time...Sometime im just amazed how much had came and passed by,and here i am in another phase of my life....(driving some more...gasp)....Yeah,some moments are worth to relive again,maybe now i should be focusing on creating moments to be relive again...:)

In the middle of September

We still play out in the rain

Nothing to lose but everything to gain

Reflecting now how things could've been

It was worth it in the end

Coming here was such a big and sudden decision, so many obstacles,so many diffculties,and im still standing here with the help and guidance from family,friends,and people i've met and knew here,how fortunate i am.Perhaps this is the best thing that could happen to me all along....i guess i will know it in the end?

Yeah we knew we had to lose this time

But we never knew when, and we never knew how

We would end up where we are

Yeah we knew we had to leave this town

But we never knew when, and we never knew how
Never knew anything

In the process,there always gaining and losing.Learn from mistakes,learn to be more open hearted and positive.Last but not least learn to live a life that i wanted....Nothing is for sure,so why not seize every moments in life ???Life is too short after all isn't it?

I simply loved rooming in...

2009-09-09T21:50:00.002+08:00

I love rooming in....a place where plenty of discharges,less workload,less acute problems,more time for to think,plus a super nice MO is a bonus on top of that....Finally i dont have to have palpitation all day long....at least let the myocardium to atrophy a bit....

Today it was the first time i went to forensic lecture,took a long long route,but in the end reach on time,my colleague sure think im super blur....after the lecture today,i accidentally went to town,and accidentally went into Centre Point,(ignoring the fact that some selfish person asked me to came out from there after i took the parking ticket)

Watched a movie filled with death,bought some nice anime dvds'(Bleach of course),bought my reading material of the month....ahh....meaningful day....yes,i must do this often.Mkae good use of the remaining days in Rooming in....

Hot Sunday Afternoon...

2009-09-06T15:14:00.002+08:00

It's really a hot sunday afternoon.Manage to drag myself up early in the morning today to bring this tired soul to work....but God is kind to me today,given me less work and early time off to go home....recently felt so empty,i meant empty minded for my blog...dont know where to start or what to write....

Stumble across this photo i took ...cute little masha masha....Days in Oncology was hectic sometimes but my patients are such a joy to be with....Hope they win the battle soon,as my battle is still going on....

Perseverence

2009-08-27T22:30:00.003+08:00

Perseverence-one of the value that i kept memorizing when i was still learning taekwando during my secondary schools days. I kept seeing this in my patient's eyes everyday.Especially the mothers,who relentlessly caring for their unwell child,trying to lessen the suffering by doing anything they can.

The sight of intramuscular asparaginase on those chemo days,sometimes are just too much to bear with.It is just a simple jab on the upper outer quadrant on the buttock to some people,but it means so much more to others.

There are still so much to learn ...and so much to see.It is difficult,but i will try my best.

We must seek strength and wisdom in others,so that when other are seeking for answers and hope,we can provide with what they need.Being a doctor is not an easy job....but i must persevere...

Im going home..:)

2009-08-14T01:58:00.002+08:00

The day i waited and waited for so long...the day where i finally can spend time with my beloved family....the sense of euphoria is beyond the description of words...i wana go home....:)

Let me just leave behind all those responsability for awhile,until i return and move on with my life,i just need a break,to rest this weary soul....at least for now,to walk a longer journey ahead...

Let me care for myself instead for now,so that i can continue to care for others...

hOMe here i come!!!

Sleep....

2009-08-09T19:48:00.002+08:00

Lately im severely lack of sleep.....the sleepiness was so intense that while clerking patient during oncall time i was near to falling asleep....which was funny though as i forgotten what i asked my patient,and forgotten what i was written....(half asleep)

Sleep is so important....at least to me....yeah...guess i better catch up on those lost sleeping hours....i want to sleep.....

Small reminder...for myself...

2009-07-29T20:44:00.002+08:00

In the middle of depression , looking down on this bumpy and winding road,i often forget to lift my head and look at the beauty along the way...

I always braced myself for the worst,this time it just exceeded my expectation.Perhaps i was caught off guarded,and all the rejection and negativity sets in...

I must remmeber,how Razmy smile and greeted me every morning in Melur 2.Her few episode of skipping breakfast and hypoglycaemic attack gave me quite a scare though...

I must also remember,how Azwa improved after a simple Acute Gastroenteritis(infection of the bowels),complicated by septic shock secondary to scalp abscess...(systemic review play its vital role here)...a lesson of perserverence in the face of hardship..

No matter how stable a patient can be,always review of patient seriously....(if that day i didnt auscultate the lungs of my patient,i might have missed the pericardial effusion which i thought was a case of pneumonia...)

Last but not least,all those kindness and encouragement my fellow UM mates,senior HO,MOs and specialists gave directly or indirectly(those sarcasm and rough reminder,in a way they meant well)....

I forgot,when half of the globe is filled with darkness,the other side is filled with sunshine....huhu...must always remind myself....

ONE OF THOSE DAYS....

2009-07-28T20:48:00.003+08:00

Have you ever had one of those days where everything can just take the wrong turn?

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel so alone in the world?

Have you ever had one of those days where you missed the carefree days ,not a moment to worry about?

Have you ever had one of those days where you just want to run away and hide from all the nonsense the people around had created…?

The frustration and negativity, the sense of fear and never-ending problems/tasks…for a moment I just want it all to stop and give me a break.

For a moment, I regretted I had taken this path. At the peak of the negativity, I really feel like giving up and just run away….

I really do missed a lot of things….i missed the days where I have my family/friends near to me and I can just confide anything, anytime…barrier…separated by distance..

I need a source of strength…in the darkest hour of all….when will I see the light???

I need a place to go to…in the moment of weariness….when will I able to breath???

Sometimes it is just too much, and people and things around you just don’t know when to stop…

Humans are such a complicated being. Studying and learning to practice medicine, made the facts crystal clear. Patient’s life and new colleagues, it further stretches the viewpoint I had on life.
Emotions…what made us humans…I wonder if I have a switch and turn it off for awhile, wouldn’t it be great…

Perhaps this is just a phase I need to get through.
Perhaps by putting more effort and determination, the sun will shine again…Yes, the previous stress during medical school days seems so trivial now. This is the real deal…Depression during housemanship ,now I understand why it can happen…

(Ps: Didn’t meant to whine ,just wanted to vent out all the negativity built up inside for quite awhile ….hoping for an inspiration to type a more positive post next entry….and hoping for everything to turn for the better….)

End of tagging days....hopefully for good...

2009-07-14T20:53:00.002+08:00

Today is the last day of tagging,yet somehow i felt sad,tired mixed with a litlle bit of relieve...it's been quite hard for me honestly .Learning to drive may seem like a piece of cake to others but to me it's quite a stressful "endeavor".Fortunately i have PP and Lisa to help me.Gave them the shock of their life when they were in my car...

Getting to know the mo's and specialist also put a strained on me...fulfilling their demands,helping patients tracing results,reviewing patient and blood taking plus all the blood culture...seems like the work will never end....The only thing that made me smile the whole day today was seeing some of the patients in recovery and playing actively....

It is a wishful thinking to have a day just for myself,without having palpitation all day writing review,plans for patients,running up and down for the results,calling other laboratory for test that never seems to be ready....i need a break, some time alone

I hope i get faster ,more precise and detail in doing work....hopefully all these stress reward me in some way in the future.It's a bumpy road,i might as well just get on with it...

Hospital Likas,Paediatric posting...

2009-07-09T21:14:00.002+08:00

Yes,my first posting again...(repeating the encounter during first year of clinical)I can't deny that paeds and i have some sort of "attraction".Being posted in Paeds as first poster,add another level of stress aside from memorizing drug doses,management,knowing new people,getting a new house,buying and driving a new car(myVi)......OMG,the stressors are endless......

Today was another hectic day....an acute admission

2 years old Murut child came in with fever,cough and poor feeding for the pass 1 week.He is 10.6 kg,with general appearence of lethargy,dry mucous membrane and reduced skin turgor and capillary refill time...Fluid resuscitation was needed but the line just couldnt be set...the nurse looked at me and said"Doctor cuba la!"...I resorted to callling MO because there's no time to delay...after Dr F tried countless of attempt on peripherally,he then set the line at femoral vein....or else intraosseous....

How frustrated i was today because could find that tiny tiny little vein and the child was in dire need of fluid...I must master the art of taking blood and setting line in children,no matter how unbearble their cries and shouting and kicking and spitting.In the end of the road,regaining their health is the ultimate satisfaction....

Im Leaving On a Jet Plane

2009-06-22T22:12:00.004+08:00

All my bags are packed,
I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye...

(Chantal Kreviazuk-Leavin On A Jet Plane)

This song may not reflect the entire picture here and now,but it echoed in my mind long after the song ended,and i was singing it over and over,even though it was slightly pitchy(luckily simon isnt here).. ....Induksi Programe and Bina Tata Negara finally ended....To me,i did learn something ,values that i hold before became even more stronger, broaden my mind to things that i never thought i will see,and spending precious time with fellow friends before we part our ways...

It was truely a fun experince:"planning and modified sketch thousands of time,doing the indonesian bocor2 dance, the "kembara" session...plus nights of pillow talks between guys...(Gasp!!!)it felt so surreal,the process sometimes was slow and agonizing,and now ,im at the comfort of my home....

I can sense the sadness in mum and dad,and to be frank it caught me off guard.Over the years i find it a challenge to understand what they think and feel.This time,it is so obvious...Perhaps they might think they will lose another son,this time to distance and time. My sense of guilt made my determination grow even more stronger.I can't promise to return home so often,i can't promise to call everysingle other day,but i can promise that their sacrifices will not to be put to waste,it is their time to lay back and enjoy life,at least have a relaxed and happy life,and soon i will be home again(If everything goes as planned...pray hard...)

Tomorrow will need an early wake .Bus will depart at 5:15am.Plane will fly off at 12pm...Working life ,new enviroment,new people....everything will starts to unfold....:) And i hope with the hectic life,i still can have some time to log in here...huhu...

A flash of update....beep2!

2009-06-13T22:23:00.005+08:00

Just a brief update....Now having my induksi programe in Melaka...initially i was suppose to go to Kuala Berang,Terenganu...but because of the mix up,fortunately im stuck in Melaka....If i was really posted in Terenganu i would not go as i came down with another episode of fever,sore throat and rhinorrhea near to the induksi date...huhu...lucky!!

Ding See jong is my roomate...(everyday being bombarded with his singing.....noise induced deafness....ah....)...The urus-setia is quite laid back and i felt that everything here is just great....The dreadful exam is coming next monday and i have study and understand nothing...oh my god....

With the drama of induksi going on,i cant kept my mind off the fact that i am posted to Sabah(as i reapplied there).Accomodation,transport,and documents are pending to be settle..Im going to fly there on 23rd of June..A foreign place that is filled with excitement and all the unknowns.....im nervous,yet looking forward at the same time....my next chapter of life,is going to begin miles from home...wish me luck .....:)

Bang,ada rokok??

2009-05-30T01:42:00.003+08:00

Today was a "beautiful" day,ate an overpriced dumpling as my breakfast,waited 1 hour for a bus to town,got more news about induction( mine always comes late, until now i dont know where i will be posted),and then i was sitting in the bus ,busy sms-ing my friends....

Suddenly a bunch of secondary school kids came in the bus...ah...my secondary school memories...how nostalgic...and really out of the blue,this kid,who the face i didnt even see properly asked me from the seat behind:

"Bang,ada rokok??"

After an involuntary pause,i gave a brief and cold "Takda".He changed his seat far away from me.

In my mind:"What was he thinking???"

2nd/3rd thought in my mind:"Did my outter appearence gave away my long hidden secret that i enjoyed 2 packs of smoke everyday...or my mouth was holding on to a cigarrete that i didnt noticed..."

I hate cigarretes,and dont ask from me ....zzz.....

(At the end , my day was still great because i get to watch 2 movies-Night at The Museum 2,Monster vs Aliens,shopping,baju batik hunting,handphone hunting for my dad....bwahaha...the amount of money i spent also was a shocking amount...)

Waiting for my rocket to come...

2009-05-26T23:00:00.002+08:00

Letters had been arriving,with things to do here and there...other than that,days are filled with PS2,Stephen King,and the best comedy series in the history-F.r.i.e.n.d.s

I was told the "induksi" should start around 5th of June,i shouted:"Finally!!!".I just want it to get over soon because then the new journey in life will begin to unfold.Inevitably the feeling of apprehension that was once dominated back in the Final MBBS exam days made it comeback when i think of the working life.... Selene is doing great in Singapore,i wonder will i have the same fate and luxury???(i guess not....)

The title was stolen from Jason Mraz album,but i think it is perfect,because i want to start my life anew,meet new people,live in new enviroment...

Men in tutus...WHAT???

2009-05-16T22:25:00.003+08:00

That was my first reaction noticing cqueen's header for her MSN.. my curiosity got the best of me and after another burst of spotaneous unknown origin of trying something new landed me in KL Preforming Art Centers,waiting for Men in Tutus to perform...All thanks to Cqueen's plus plus help for the ticket and the ride to KL PAC...

The performance was actually men,performing ballet....i must clarify,a group of all men performers,taking both males and females role.They performed in their own intrepretation-aka humor,and their hunger for cheers and applaud was tremendous...the whole time,the performers wont leave the stage unless received enough applaud,in a very funny way that is,and they were not shy of showing it....The technical part perhaps Cqueen appreciate it more than me because i know nothing.Previously i thought ballet was only for girls...but actually men play equal role,and this performance show me that men can do equal job compare to their counterparts...haha

People get sceptical,and perhaps have some degree of stigma.But i truely enjoyed the show. Their effort ,courage,and techniques was beyond the description of words.My palms kinda have post-clapping syndrome now...:D.

Things to do before passing away...

2009-05-11T21:28:00.003+08:00

I HATE Fish!!

2009-05-08T18:43:00.001+08:00

I hate fish,and i hate people who sell fish even more,met a lot of them lately :P

Why dogs bite human sometimes...

2009-05-06T23:03:00.003+08:00

Let ur doggy wear their own attire,their natural fur,not yours....:D

Another read-The Secret Garden

2009-05-04T21:57:00.003+08:00

Came across Penguin Popular Classic book collection when i was "cruising" in Popular bookstore in Petaling street .Because the books were very cheap( absolute green cover,made from 100% recycled paper,therefore i couldnt stop myself from buying them...haha)

Finish my first book Grimm's Fairytale....didnt really enjoyed the stories within the collection as some i already knew and feel that it was quite boring.Heath Ledger once acted in Brother's Grimm...one of the reason i selected the book.

Moving on to the second book would be The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett.The book is reasonably readable with 27 chapters and 270 pages.No heavy-duty reading is required and it can be finished within a few days.For those who likes a bit of adventure,coupled with life lesson to be learn,then one must not missed this book.Though the Yorkshire language in this book may not in favor of my short lived attention,but it added unique color to the story.

The Secret Garden -The story started off with an unfortunate girl named Mary,unloved,became an orphan within a few days,and being forgotten.She found rays of hope when her uncle in England had taken up the responsability to take care of her.She was a child with peculiar qualities and resent human relation.Her life changing events started in her uncle's mansion where she discovered the truth that there were more to life that she never saw before.With new friends,new enviroment and new secret,her true personality began to flourish.Being changed and helping other to change for the better,perhaps is the most concise sentence to summarized this book,and i did really enjoyed reading it...Low price but good reading...:D

Picture taken from www.pesdirect.com

A puppy named Myiok....:D

2009-05-03T14:32:00.004+08:00

I am in love...tht fuzzy white+brownish fur,the fetish for licking human palms,that innocent looked when scolded...haha...everything about Myiok is just so...loveable....plus he has a girlfriend who's a Rotwiller,which is twice his size......I think with the charm that he has he can conquer bigger prays that Rotwiller,even humans....:D

His name is a bit peculiar though,im spelling out according to the sound called out by the owner,however,i would rather call him fuzzy wuzzy or some other less peculiar name....hmm....or what d owner meant was Milk???haha....had lots of laughes and warm love with Milk for the past few days in JB...i want my own PUPPY!!!...

The Holiday...

2009-05-01T13:08:00.020+08:00

About a week ago i went a trip to Perhentian island with a bunch of my coursemates...It turned out to be one of the most enjoyble trip after all...

It's been awhile since i saw the sea glimmers under the warm sun above...we were travelling so fast like nobody's bussiness....:D

Our place for the next few nights...guess what's the room number?? 93 and 94(translate into cantonese and it will bring out the meaning...:D)

Our eight legged neighbour...it was a bit less than a size of the palm...i think....

I was astonished on how breath taking the beach of Perhentian can be,after about five years it is still as pretty as ever...

We were immersed in deep sea of Perhentian....and we were trying our best to stay afloat??PL even got his google on.

This is the white plastic bag and I....(i didnt noticed the bag at first though...haha....)

Aside from snorkling around Perhentian,we also stopped at Redang island...to search for baby sharks..

All of us became so muscular.wahaah....dream come true...including SC..opps...she's already is...

Im not a bystander...Im in the game...and we won for all the matches we played against a bunch of "juniors"fr KMPP ,and a bunch of workers from Genting...haha.The sight of the flying fishes bursting out from the water to fly along our boat was spectacular by the way....sadly no photos to show.

We met a pair of good-looking Germans-Michael and Kristina,plus in the photo our snorkling guide...:)

Satay treat courtesy of Yin Cheng's parents....all the stuffed faces....

Finally...Lee Shia's house....hehe...wanted to go for a long time already....we helped her with the shop...(erm...not me...i spent the whole time watching National Geography,she subscribed Astro...)

Yin Cheng also brought us to a waterfall...which the name i couldnt really recall...Belata something....It was a great place to swim and picnic!!!It was a nice trip with lots of drama and excitement which will take a few more pages if to write them all down...I enjoyed it very much,THX!!!